05 :: Not My Strength
Sometimes people who read my blog tell me that I have strong opinions. Other times they say that I have strong arguments. I tend to disagree with both statements.
I’ll start with the arguments, that one’s simple. Just look at the last few posts and you’ll see that my arguments are anything but strong … they’re usually full of holes, contradicting other people’s experiences and leaving out key factors and variables. I’m not a mathematician or a scientist, and rarely do I really want to “prove” these arguments beyond a shadow of a doubt. My intentions are almost always otherwise (but I’ll leave them to your imagination).
And my opinions? In person, it’s probably easier to tell that I don’t feel nearly as strongly about things as it might seem from my blog posts. I’m very willing to listen to other ideas, and I usually, over time, morph my own opinions to reflect the ideas and experiences that I am exposed to. In fact, the opposite is often true … people sometimes get perturbed because I’m too casual, accepting, or laissez-faire. I simply “don’t care” about some of the things that they really think are important.
So if it’s not strong opinions or arguments, then what’s up? A strong writing style? Arrogance? Not knowing when to say when? Or just plain lunacy? I’m not sure … in fact, I don’t think I have an opinion on that argument.
May 5th, 2008 at 12:35 am EST
I tend to think it’s directness. You don’t beat around the bush, you aren’t afraid to disagree with others’ opinions, and you sound confident when you speak (or write). I mean, even when you are communicating your “don’t care” attitude about a topic, it can come across as a challenge to someone who does care about the issue at hand. I’m not trying to judge whether that’s good or bad, just my observation thus far. Personally, however, I do tend to think before I speak more with you than with most, probably because I’m afraid you’ll disagree with what I’m about to say. Still, not necessarily a bad thing, since I could use a little more discretion and since I should be able to defend my opinion if called upon to do so. Just thought you might like to know how some react to your particular style of communication…
I think I try to “hedge” my opinion more, something I probably picked up from my time in China. (Even reading back over this post, I can identify many such instances: “TEND to think,” “CAN come across,” might, should, think, probably…) Yeah. Maybe we should all learn to read our interlocutors and adjust our style to achieve more effective communication. Just a thought.
May 6th, 2008 at 1:40 am EST
So … on Monday, webeldotnet had 130 unique visitors and 350 page views, the most in the past week. And only one comment? I guess either nobody has anything to say … or nobody wants to say it.
May 6th, 2008 at 10:47 am EST
I’ll say!!!
May 6th, 2008 at 1:22 pm EST
Hm. I wasn’t on Monday
But I will say - as well - in my opinion, Lance, your writing is very direct. You merely say what you want to say. And since it’s a blog and you’re the author, I can see how people would say you come across more strongly. Unless they read the tons of comments your writing generates, it’s easy to think you stand firmly on issues and arguments.
And in person, yeah, you often seem not to care about issues others do, but when you do have an opinion about something, I often think you appear forceful with them. Moreso than I’m used to, but it’s kinda refreshing to have that kind of personality around.
There’s my two bits.
May 7th, 2008 at 5:35 pm EST
Yeah I don’t leave comments a lot of the time. Mostly because what I want to say is said…but sometimes because saying something that isn’t interesting is boring to me…and interesting to me makes the world turn brighter.
May 9th, 2008 at 5:16 pm EST
I never ever get my point across when typing response or opinion. Never. This creates in me a person that dwells on a topic in my head and onw who generally gets overrun with emotions because of it…all because, unless I am directly confronting (and sometimes not even then), do I feel that I have made my point.
Even now…I am bothered by this response. This font does nothing for my emotions.
May 9th, 2008 at 5:18 pm EST
And…I forgot to put my name. Great. Just great. And I didn’t check my post and I spelled “own” “onw” Wonderful.