Any person who leads himself with strength regularly will be accused of being arrogant, proud, not-humble-enough, or unloving. Don’t fall for it. What most people mean when they question the “love” part of truth-speak from a friend or family memebr is that they did not ENJOY their experience with you of the truth-telling and receiving cycle.

As to speaking the truth in love….in my humble and loving opinion, if there is to be error, err on the side of getting all the truth out even if you are deficient in getting the loving expression just right. The “in love” part is a matter of the heart and those who know you and are in the best position to see your heart, will hear love in your truth-speaking. Others are likely not to hear the “love” they want or need regardless of how you package it. It is truth received and acted upon sets people free - someone important said that.

Truth spoken with great clarity and simplicity, between people committed to each other’s well being, is one of the most loving things anyone can do fo another. (Close on the heels of that is speaking the truth then letting your hearer decide what to do with the truth versus your demanding that they act in your proferred way on the truth you gave them).

Let your yes be yes…and no be no. Love it (true-er words have rarely been spoken).

By the way…really enjoying reading your thoughts on holy and whole sexuality. Lauren Winners writes well on the topic. With sex (as with other Christian hot buttons issues), we have got to move away from the “gospel of sin management” toward a passionate embracing of our God. Passionately pursuing Him is so much more healthy than obsessing over the boundaries for ourselves and others.

Your wife will be blessed - so will you.

ben
www.4cornerschurch.com