When life gives you water, make lemonade.
[with free lemon slices and sugar packets]

I think that the phrase “offended” is a farce. When there’s an offensive person nearby, you choose your reaction … you can get defensive, escalating the situation to a conflict, or you can choose to deflect or deflate the offense. Sitting there and indirectly calling yourself “offended” is merely passive aggressiveness.

And that’s sometimes even more harmful than the original offense!

Dood … what on earth are you doing?

Peel your eyes away from your computer screen, put on some shoes (or take them off), and get your butt outside! Go to the park, call a friend up and throw a frisbee, walk the neighbor’s dog, plant some flowers, take a stroll with an ice cream cone, ride that bike you’ve been storing, climb a tree, or teepee a friend’s house.

Whatever … just stop wasting away this beautiful day!

When your toilet bowl gets dirty, brush it immediately … letting it sit, for even a day, makes the job significantly harder (and may even require you to pour in sort of chemical).

When giving a small present to a female friend, don’t put it in a ring box (unless if it’s actually a ring). It doesn’t matter how well it fits … just trust me on this one.

Learn to cut your own hair.

I’ve been doing it for eleven years now (except for last year), and I figure that at fifteen bucks a pop, I’ve saved about $2000. Sure, it takes a little bit of practice to figure out how to handle the scissors/clippers/mirror, but it’s well worth the effort. And it’s fun too!

Don’t ever buy gas from a station that’s getting a refill from a fuel tanker. When the tanker dumps the new gas into the station’s underground storage tank, all of the silt and sediment from the bottom is stirred up … and even one little piece of that junk can really mess up your car’s mechanicals.

If you regularly use the same station, it’s even worth finding out which days the tanker shows up and planning to fill up your car a couple of days earlier. Just don’t give your car botulism!

If it’s yellow, let it mellow. If it’s brown, flush it down.

When a product’s packaging and instructions warn you to wear gloves at least eight times … do it.

When you’ve finally squeezed every last drop out of your tube of toothpaste, get out those scissors … by cutting it in half you can easily brush your teeth for another week!