So I guess I’d better explain yesterday’s post.

I’ve been offered an administrative position at my school, one that would take me out of the classroom and away from technology and place me smack-dab in the middle of student life (student leadership, spiritual life, and day-to-day discipline issues). There was a similar position a few years ago, but it’s mostly a brand new gig … and I’ve chosen to accept it!

It’s actually kinda cool … I wasn’t pursuing or even considering this sort of thing, but the leadership at my school saw where my heart was and matched it up with our school’s needs. And I’ve known for a couple of years that God was preparing me for something like this, something with more leadership and leverage and influence … so it’s really affirming to see it become a reality.

So, starting August first, I’ll be diving in headfirst. It’ll have its uphill battles, that’s for sure … I’m quite young for something like this, I’ll be dealing a lot more with complex family issues, and seriously … I’ll be doling out discipline to 400 middle schoolers? But once the details start to materialize, this job should provide a lot more freedom, quite a few challenges, and the chance to actually focus on what I’m really there for … connecting with and building into young lives.

Bring that!

I’m not a teacher anymore!

People sometimes ask me if I have an actual list of things that I look for in a girl. For a long time I didn’t, mostly because I figured that a successful relationship was a lot more about giving than it was about getting. So I put aside thinking about who I wanted to be with and instead made a list about who I wanted to be. In some ways, it was a healthy approach … it kept my focus in the right place and, frankly, steered me away from some unhealthy relationships.

Even so, it’s been pretty easy, over the years, to notice which characteristics attract me and which are uniquely suited to my needs and gifts. And eventually, as I started to realize how screwed up this area of my life was, I began to see how valuable it was to be more aware of where I’d like to head and to be more proactive in how I chose to get there. Making a list was just a logical part of that process … so I did!

And now, for some strange reason, I feel like it’s a good time to give y’all a sneak peek into what makes me tick. So here it is … my list.

===== What I Look For in a Girl =====

THE EMOTIONAL
gentle and compassionate
joyous, loves to laugh with abandon
genuinely longs to be loved
stable and relatively rational
comfortable with risk and sacrifice
vulnerable, feels things deeply

THE PRACTICAL
thrives on adventure and wildness
leaves things (and people) better than she found them
advocates for those without a voice
makes intimacy relevant (brings sexy back)
communicates with kids on their level
truly listens

THE LIFESTYLE
pursues eternity first
practices lordship and fleshes out scripture
lives simply and frugally
would travel or even live abroad
loves her family and wants to raise her own

THE PHYSICAL
sensitive and sensual
deep eyes that connect
cuddle-maniac
moves like an athlete
slender body, elegant back and neck, soft lobes
hands and lips that make me melt
eager to be wild in bed

THE CHEMISTRY
ruthlessly challenges me on my idiocy
helps to stretch and soften my spirit
encourages my hunger for righteousness
makes me want to lead her through the storm
can both keep up with me and slow me down
makes my heart do that thing

Keep in mind that these aren’t “requirements” or “must-haves”, they’re simply characteristics that catch my eye. And this list is organic … as I discover new things about myself, this world, and my God, this list will continue to grow and change.

So what do you think?

I woke up at 11:30am today.

I’ve long felt that when I die, it’ll be the best day of my life. On that day, you see, I believe that I’ll finally get to shed this body, this temporary “tent” … and my spirit will be free to party it up with Jesus. Sure, I know that mourning and all of that is a natural thing, especially when you miss someone … but I don’t want it to get out of hand when I die. I mean … people who know me well should know by then that it’s a time for celebration, a time to come together and rejoice because of the freedom I’ve found!

So here’s the deal … I’d like to start planning this now. Morbid? Maybe. But what better time is there to really reach out and touch some hearts than at my own funeral? That’s some real leverage, yo … what a platform. It’s worth being ready.

The current idea is to lay down a challenge … I want to be cremated and have my ashes spread on 100 (or so) different remote places around the globe by my friends and family. The pyramids, Antarctica, the Sahara … you name it, I want to give the people who are closest to me the opportunity (and requirement) to travel to these places.

Why? Well, I want what’s left of my mortal flesh to serve an eternal purpose … connecting people I care about with the God I am finally partying with face-to-face. I want them to experience how big the world is, to see God’s magnificent creation and to be humbled and inspired by something bigger than themselves. Isn’t that way better than paying to let my corpse just rot in the ground? I sure think so.

All of the details, including my story and the reasoning behind this challenge, would be compiled on a website (maybe lanceisnotdead.com). Then, as people complete the trips (which could take many many years), they would have to document their journeys, checking places off of the list and posting stories, photos, and videos online for the world to see.

The idea is really in its infancy … I’m not exactly sure how it would all be implemented, and it might evolve over time. But I’ve already contacted a really talented designer and started thinking about how to approach it all. Sure, there’s no rush (at least, I don’t think so) … but it seems to me that if people get confused and saddened by my death, I really must’ve let them misunderstand my life too!

Yeah, I know that I’ve been quiet on here lately … but it’s summer break, and I’m shaking things up a bit. One thing’s for sure … God’s been doing some really big stuff in my life lately, stuff that I could never plan or orchestrate. I’m (obviously) being really careful about what I publish … but if you know me well, feel free to ask.

Enjoy the sunshine, yo.

“I don’t know if I’ve ever told you this directly, but I think you’re one of the most important people at our school, in terms of how you interact with the kids and do what you do. I want you to be excruciatingly happy here.”

– My boss

Seriously … can you think of something more encouraging to hear from your jefe? And I don’t think it’s just lip-service … I was just offered the opportunity to develop a program that is really in line with where my heart is here at school (with actual compensation) and given the freedom to marginalize some of the mundane things that often weigh this job down.

Well, that was fun. Thirty days, thirty “real” blog posts. It was harder than I thought … not only to come up with significant things to say, but also to simply write so consistently. I kinda cheated a little more lately, mostly because I was so busy living life that I didn’t want to stop and blog. But in the end, I think it was good … forcing us all to think a little more. I’ve still got some lingering issues that I’m sure will come up here or there … so don’t expect this website to become all sugary and fluffy anytime soon.

I’ve also come to the end of yet another school year. I’m absolutely exhausted this time … readjusting to our crazy culture and lifestyle was really difficult, and I simply ran out of steam a few weeks ago. I’ve been hanging on for dear life, trying to maintain as much focus in the classroom as possible why trying to keep my sanity in the background. I think I just fell across the finish line. And now it’s time to sleep … for a month.

Honestly, I don’t know how people work 12-month jobs. The intensity level must not be anywhere near what I experience … or they must have to find some incredible coping mechanisms. Personally, I’ll take seasons … life, death, and regrowth. I’ll take margin in my life, a time to just relax and recover. I’ll take days of sabbath-time.

And I’ll definitely take June, July, and August!

I’m usually really bad about responding to emails … in any given day, I get dozens and dozens, and there’s simply no way I can answer everything that I want to answer. So for those of you with messages still sitting in my inbox, here are a couple of tips if you want to get a response from me.

1. Keep it short.
   A couple of sentences is usually enough.

2. Ask directly.
   I’m not that smart … beating around the bush distracts me.

3. Be persistent and patient.
   I won’t be offended, at all, if you send me 5-10 messages.

4. Be awesome.
   I tend to make time for people who I consider to be amazing.

5. Show me that you care.
   If nothing seems meaningful, I often don’t stop and notice.

6. Don’t.
   Sometimes email’s a terrible medium … phone or visit me!

I never really liked motorcycles, mostly for safety reasons. But after spending a good portion of last year zooming around on Chinese moto-taxis, I think I grew a strange affinity for their freedom and convenience. I’ve also been thinking about how I could save a lot of gas money, enjoy the weather more, and put a lot less strain on my car if I had one. So yeah … I’m seriously considering buying a motorcycle.

But I need some help … I’m not quite sure where to start the hunt. Here are the main factors I’m looking for:

1. Fuel efficient, especially in city driving
2. Seats two comfortably, with a little storage
3. Can travel highway speeds safely and smoothly
4. Dependable without requiring tons of maintenance

So … know a bit about bikes? Know someone who does? I’ve got a couple of friends in mind who might be able to help out, but the more opinions, the merrier. I’d even be open to a scooter or moped (but not a crotch rocket).

Today I’m leaving to go to the Smoky Mountains for the weekend with some friends. We’ll be staying at this cozy little cabin, hiking around the mountain trails, taking in the scenery, playing lots of games, and soaking in the hot tub (oh, yeah). Sure, summer’s right around the corner … but I still need a break.

Truth is, work has been really hard for me this year. I’ve had to find a way to fit back into a culture and system that is both familiar and foreign, to juggle both the-way-things-used-to-be and the-way-things-have-become at the same time. I’ve had more interpersonal conflicts at work this year than ever before, and there were many more days when that ever-elusive joy was simply impossible to find. And the pace itself has been difficult to deal with … sure, I’m slowing down, but I also think there’s just something futile about the rate at which we live.

So yeah … this weekend should be a much needed break from the grind and a chance to be around some pretty fantastic folks. And when I get back, I’m going to take yet another personal day to relax at home with some movies and blankets. If I’m gonna do it, I figure, I might as well do it right.

How about lunch on Monday?

Sometimes people who read my blog tell me that I have strong opinions. Other times they say that I have strong arguments. I tend to disagree with both statements.

I’ll start with the arguments, that one’s simple. Just look at the last few posts and you’ll see that my arguments are anything but strong … they’re usually full of holes, contradicting other people’s experiences and leaving out key factors and variables. I’m not a mathematician or a scientist, and rarely do I really want to “prove” these arguments beyond a shadow of a doubt. My intentions are almost always otherwise (but I’ll leave them to your imagination).

And my opinions? In person, it’s probably easier to tell that I don’t feel nearly as strongly about things as it might seem from my blog posts. I’m very willing to listen to other ideas, and I usually, over time, morph my own opinions to reflect the ideas and experiences that I am exposed to. In fact, the opposite is often true … people sometimes get perturbed because I’m too casual, accepting, or laissez-faire. I simply “don’t care” about some of the things that they really think are important.

So if it’s not strong opinions or arguments, then what’s up? A strong writing style? Arrogance? Not knowing when to say when? Or just plain lunacy? I’m not sure … in fact, I don’t think I have an opinion on that argument.

Anger is always a choice … the wrong choice.

When I look back at what I’ve posted here recently, it’s pretty entertaining … funny stories, interesting photos and videos, and controversial issues. But there seems to be a lack of substance … a turning away from the good stuff.

So enough of that. For the month of May, I’m going to try something new. Every day I’m going to attempt to post something real, something meaningful or genuine. I’m not sure what that’ll look like … maybe personal revelations, hard questions, disturbing stories, hunches from my spirit, or lessons I’ve learned. I’m not going to try to defend or explain them too much … so take them as you will.

And as a reminder, webeldotnet is not me. I know that it’s natural to judge a person by what he says, but there’s always more to what you read here. If you have a question or problem with what I write, just call me … I’m often wrong, and I really appreciate feedback and smackdowns from my friends. It’s good for me … and for our friendship too!