I’ve long felt that when I die, it’ll be the best day of my life. On that day, you see, I believe that I’ll finally get to shed this body, this temporary “tent” … and my spirit will be free to party it up with Jesus. Sure, I know that mourning and all of that is a natural thing, especially when you miss someone … but I don’t want it to get out of hand when I die. I mean … people who know me well should know by then that it’s a time for celebration, a time to come together and rejoice because of the freedom I’ve found!

So here’s the deal … I’d like to start planning this now. Morbid? Maybe. But what better time is there to really reach out and touch some hearts than at my own funeral? That’s some real leverage, yo … what a platform. It’s worth being ready.

The current idea is to lay down a challenge … I want to be cremated and have my ashes spread on 100 (or so) different remote places around the globe by my friends and family. The pyramids, Antarctica, the Sahara … you name it, I want to give the people who are closest to me the opportunity (and requirement) to travel to these places.

Why? Well, I want what’s left of my mortal flesh to serve an eternal purpose … connecting people I care about with the God I am finally partying with face-to-face. I want them to experience how big the world is, to see God’s magnificent creation and to be humbled and inspired by something bigger than themselves. Isn’t that way better than paying to let my corpse just rot in the ground? I sure think so.

All of the details, including my story and the reasoning behind this challenge, would be compiled on a website (maybe lanceisnotdead.com). Then, as people complete the trips (which could take many many years), they would have to document their journeys, checking places off of the list and posting stories, photos, and videos online for the world to see.

The idea is really in its infancy … I’m not exactly sure how it would all be implemented, and it might evolve over time. But I’ve already contacted a really talented designer and started thinking about how to approach it all. Sure, there’s no rush (at least, I don’t think so) … but it seems to me that if people get confused and saddened by my death, I really must’ve let them misunderstand my life too!

I’m usually really bad about responding to emails … in any given day, I get dozens and dozens, and there’s simply no way I can answer everything that I want to answer. So for those of you with messages still sitting in my inbox, here are a couple of tips if you want to get a response from me.

1. Keep it short.
   A couple of sentences is usually enough.

2. Ask directly.
   I’m not that smart … beating around the bush distracts me.

3. Be persistent and patient.
   I won’t be offended, at all, if you send me 5-10 messages.

4. Be awesome.
   I tend to make time for people who I consider to be amazing.

5. Show me that you care.
   If nothing seems meaningful, I often don’t stop and notice.

6. Don’t.
   Sometimes email’s a terrible medium … phone or visit me!

I’ve been using Yahoo mail, on and off, for the past nine years. For the most part, I’ve liked it … it has steadily improved in both features and storage space, it’s got a pretty good organizational structure (with filters and folders), it picks up my webeldotnet mail, and it integrates well with some of Yahoo’s other services.

Gmail, on the other hand, is something that I’ve avoided since its introduction four years ago. Here’s what I wrote about it in 2004:

I have a promotional Gmail account (I don’t think they’re available to the public yet) that I created a couple of weeks ago. I’ve never used it. But I’ve already received about 10 spams … not at my Gmail address, but at the email address I used to sign up for Gmail. Yep … they have given away the address I used to register.

Whether they intentionally sold it or had a security breach, they have violated my personal rights. How do I know it was them? I use a website called SneakEmail to monitor and control the ways companies use and distribute my email addresses. It’s foolproof … I once caught and confronted Sprint giving away my email address to spammers. And now Google is doing it. I’m highly disturbed.

I’m surprised. But the facts speak for themselves, and I wouldn’t trust Google with any personal information any more. They’re gonna have a lot of ’splainin to do before I use them for anything but general web searches again. I may even start looking for alternatives for that as well.

Needless to say, I’m now reconsidering. Recently, I’ve begun to use more and more of Google’s services … maps, calendar, Blogger, and news … on a regular basis. And I’ve re-activated my Gmail account and explored how it’s set up. The spam filtering is better, and it integrates even tighter with my webeldotnet mail.

But what’s up with the organizational structure? I’m not sure I like how you have to use labels instead of folders … it seems like it’d be really hard to stay organized after a while. And the ads seem a bit more intrusive, perhaps because the text seems to conflict with the messages or something.

So what do you use? What do you like?

I’m a font geek. I’ll notice it right away in any given product or design, I can easily weed through typefaces for an hour searching for the perfect look, and I have unreasonably strong emotional responses to certain font choices.

One particular font, Helvetica, has quite a fascinating history. It’s been around since 1957, is used almost everywhere, and even had a recent feature-length independent film released about it. But there’s controversy too … when Microsoft saw that they liked Helvetica but were too cheap to pay royalties, they decided to make their own version and call it Arial.

Here’s a game tests your ability to see the subtle differences between the two fonts (hint: Helvetica looks better). I got nine out of ten right … the one that really threw me off was the all-caps APPLE.

How about you … how well did you do?

–He–
by Lance Webel
8.28.96

the truth hits like a fallen redwood–
freezing the body
trapping the heart
grasping the throat
     (suffocation)

denial envelops, falling to oblivion
this cannot be.
how can one so loved be so unloved ¿
how can one so loving serve two masters ¿
how can one be considered a master ¿
this cannot be.

is “truth” a mirage
     a facade
          a fabrication ¿

[The Paradox unfolds, only to confront The Paradigm]

torn between devotion and reality

each requiring the other
     each feeding the other
          each destroying the other

until only
     –He–
remains,
(understands)
     _embraces.

I have three huge bins full of books. All sorts … comic books, coffee table books, Christian self-help books, journals, reference, you name it. I even have a book called How to Read a Book.

Yeah.

Here’s a comment I recently left over at Sarah’s about my growing resentment for this static medium:

Lately I’ve come to realize that paper is pretty much my mortal enemy. I’ve tried and tried, over and over, to listen fairly as people have told me the two main arguments about why books are all that and a bag of chips:

1. Books leave more to the imagination.
2. Books do a much better job of rich, detailed descriptions.

To me, those two ideas are completely contradictory. Plus, I have no interest in spending a week reading something that, if put into a richer medium, would only take a couple of hours to get through.

I’ve held on to my books through the years for many reasons … sentiment, interest, the hope of actually reading them, status, laziness … but now I’m considering just getting rid of them all. Maybe on Amazon or eBay, maybe to friends, or maybe with a giant bonfire.

I think I want to go paperless.

Shouldn’t it be “heels over head”?

It’s pretty widely known that the biggest key to good landlording is attracting and keeping good renters. Doing so protects your property, minimizes costs, provides stability, and gives you the greatest possible income. It also, in my opinion, gives you the unique ability to build relationships and trust … one of the big reasons why I’m doing this thang.

So I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how to find these “good renters”. The current situation in my home is pretty unique … four tenants are living under separate leases and sharing a common area upstairs. Though not an ideal situation for a family, this setup is great for a young professional or college student who’s trying to get ahead without having to live in the proverbial “parents’ basement”. I’ve been there myself for seven years, so I can appreciate the finer points of sharing a space and keeping the rent low.

When my current tenants’ leases run out at the end of the year, I plan to keep this same strategy (with some tweaks) and hopefully the same tenants (if things click). But I’ve already got to start thinking about how to fill the space quickly and with the right people if a spot opens up.

My location is one of the big factors here … I’m about a mile and a half away from Kenwood Towne Centre, one of the nicest malls in Cincinnati, so it would only make sense to try and connect with both mall employees and customers. I’d probably use roadside signs, bulletin boards, and (of course) a website … but I need your help to choose a domain:

So what do you think? Which one is the most likely to attract the right people? Which would be the most memorable to someone driving or walking by?

Want to taste what I tasted all last year? Well, you just might have your chance. A new cookbook has just been published that focuses on the spicy food of Hunan Province … and my mouth is watering!

Reviews in both The New York Times and The Boston Globe glow about this book, extolling not only the recipes but also the way the book represents everyday life in Hunan.

After living there for a year, I’m really curious about the way that this book paints the town … and I’m curious if it prescribes even a fraction of the amount of “la jiao” (spicy peppers) that I experienced on a daily basis.

Today, when Hunan again enjoys plentiful food “as bold and colorful as its people,” is the first moment in history at which a Western cookbook writer could have lived in friendship with Hunanese, and the last at which she could have collected first-hand memories of the Cultural Revolution.

Mmm … I think I’m going to have to pick up a copy …

These men and women in Gloucester, UK are competing in the annual “Cheese Rolling” competition. They’re not just falling … they’re chasing an 8lb double gloucester cheese.

Should I have put this post in the Sports category?

[via digg and Paul]