So … I was just awoken from a deep sleep by the sound of my phone’s alarm in the other room. By instinct, I hurriedly got up and followed the noise, hoping to turn it off before it woke up the tenants upstairs.

When I got to the piano bench, where I had left the phone, I suddenly heard a tremendously loud crash, felt my nose go numb, and looked up to find myself flat on the floor.

Wha?

Turns out that I had gotten up a little too quickly … I had passed out, fallen face-first into the bench, and sent it (and myself) crashing to the floor. And as the numbness started to spread to the rest of my face, I had a valuable epiphany … summer mornings are supposed to be s.l.o.w.

People sometimes ask me if I have an actual list of things that I look for in a girl. For a long time I didn’t, mostly because I figured that a successful relationship was a lot more about giving than it was about getting. So I put aside thinking about who I wanted to be with and instead made a list about who I wanted to be. In some ways, it was a healthy approach … it kept my focus in the right place and, frankly, steered me away from some unhealthy relationships.

Even so, it’s been pretty easy, over the years, to notice which characteristics attract me and which are uniquely suited to my needs and gifts. And eventually, as I started to realize how screwed up this area of my life was, I began to see how valuable it was to be more aware of where I’d like to head and to be more proactive in how I chose to get there. Making a list was just a logical part of that process … so I did!

And now, for some strange reason, I feel like it’s a good time to give y’all a sneak peek into what makes me tick. So here it is … my list.

===== What I Look For in a Girl =====

THE EMOTIONAL
gentle and compassionate
joyous, loves to laugh with abandon
genuinely longs to be loved
stable and relatively rational
comfortable with risk and sacrifice
vulnerable, feels things deeply

THE PRACTICAL
thrives on adventure and wildness
leaves things (and people) better than she found them
advocates for those without a voice
makes intimacy relevant (brings sexy back)
communicates with kids on their level
truly listens

THE LIFESTYLE
pursues eternity first
practices lordship and fleshes out scripture
lives simply and frugally
would travel or even live abroad
loves her family and wants to raise her own

THE PHYSICAL
sensitive and sensual
deep eyes that connect
cuddle-maniac
moves like an athlete
slender body, elegant back and neck, soft lobes
hands and lips that make me melt
eager to be wild in bed

THE CHEMISTRY
ruthlessly challenges me on my idiocy
helps to stretch and soften my spirit
encourages my hunger for righteousness
makes me want to lead her through the storm
can both keep up with me and slow me down
makes my heart do that thing

Keep in mind that these aren’t “requirements” or “must-haves”, they’re simply characteristics that catch my eye. And this list is organic … as I discover new things about myself, this world, and my God, this list will continue to grow and change.

So what do you think?

I woke up at 11:30am today.

“In regard to cruelties committed in the name of a free society, some are guilty, while all are responsible.”

– Abraham Joshua Heschel

I totally agree. While there are always culprits and criminals, advantaged and elite, antagonists and oppressors … I am, in the end, responsible for the actions that are taken in my society. I cannot completely disavow all knowledge, claim that I have no connection, or feign helplessness … I must step up and take action.

For I am responsible.

My basement is too wet … when it rains, the walls leak, and when it doesn’t, it just feels damp down there. Sure, the excess water usually goes right down the floor drains, but I’m pretty sure that I’d like to buy a dehumidifier to dry the place up and keep my stuff in good shape.

I’m guessing that I’d probably keep it on most of the time, especially after it rains, just running a hose straight into the drain. But i’m not sure how much electricity or wear-and-tear that kind of use would involve. I also figure that a new one is the way to go, that it’d be more energy-efficient than a secondhand one (regardless of the up-front cost savings). But many of the reviews i’m reading say that the cheaper ones (from Wal-mart, Best Buy, etc.) die within a year … not good.

Have any advice? Do I want to get one with a larger capacity (45-60 pints/hour), even if that requires more energy? Which brands (Whirlpool, Danby, etc.) are reliable? Which stores give good deals on quality appliances? How about something like this?

Live in Columbus? Then get some free Chipotle tonight!

[via mdog]

I’ve long felt that when I die, it’ll be the best day of my life. On that day, you see, I believe that I’ll finally get to shed this body, this temporary “tent” … and my spirit will be free to party it up with Jesus. Sure, I know that mourning and all of that is a natural thing, especially when you miss someone … but I don’t want it to get out of hand when I die. I mean … people who know me well should know by then that it’s a time for celebration, a time to come together and rejoice because of the freedom I’ve found!

So here’s the deal … I’d like to start planning this now. Morbid? Maybe. But what better time is there to really reach out and touch some hearts than at my own funeral? That’s some real leverage, yo … what a platform. It’s worth being ready.

The current idea is to lay down a challenge … I want to be cremated and have my ashes spread on 100 (or so) different remote places around the globe by my friends and family. The pyramids, Antarctica, the Sahara … you name it, I want to give the people who are closest to me the opportunity (and requirement) to travel to these places.

Why? Well, I want what’s left of my mortal flesh to serve an eternal purpose … connecting people I care about with the God I am finally partying with face-to-face. I want them to experience how big the world is, to see God’s magnificent creation and to be humbled and inspired by something bigger than themselves. Isn’t that way better than paying to let my corpse just rot in the ground? I sure think so.

All of the details, including my story and the reasoning behind this challenge, would be compiled on a website (maybe lanceisnotdead.com). Then, as people complete the trips (which could take many many years), they would have to document their journeys, checking places off of the list and posting stories, photos, and videos online for the world to see.

The idea is really in its infancy … I’m not exactly sure how it would all be implemented, and it might evolve over time. But I’ve already contacted a really talented designer and started thinking about how to approach it all. Sure, there’s no rush (at least, I don’t think so) … but it seems to me that if people get confused and saddened by my death, I really must’ve let them misunderstand my life too!

In February 2007 I visited Saigon, or Ho Chi Min City, in the beautiful south of Vietnam. I visited a couple of propaganda-filled museums, took a couple photos on the street, then put my camera away and enjoyed the city.

The photos I took (see the set or slideshow) aren’t the most comprehensive, but they still give a couple more glimpses into that fascinating world. Enjoy!

Here are some of the interesting Internet searches that have led people to webeldotnet recently:

the birth date of sadam husien
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Amy Eldridge, Love Without Boundaries
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Saburido blog
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china worldteach blog
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crazy queries
i don’t want no pickle
is gmail or yahoo mail better

And my top five favorites …

what happened to hypercolor
students “kick each other in the groin”
Bill Cosby and God saw what he created and it was good
what clouds do or Silently Flowers resembles beauty less than our breathing
is robbie knievel a democrat

[Lance vending machine, by webel]

Check out what my nieces and nephew found during their trip to Florida … I need to get me one of those!

Yeah, I know that I’ve been quiet on here lately … but it’s summer break, and I’m shaking things up a bit. One thing’s for sure … God’s been doing some really big stuff in my life lately, stuff that I could never plan or orchestrate. I’m (obviously) being really careful about what I publish … but if you know me well, feel free to ask.

Enjoy the sunshine, yo.