Bubbles, anyone?

I've been toying with the idea of making Mr. Webel tshirts for a little while now (just the iron-on kind, to give away as prizes in my classes or something). But as I looked at the design a little bit, I had the realization that this might make a great design for a website ... this website! The blood-red scary theme is getting a little old, and I've been wanting to drop "webL" and "intro2spection" for a little while now in favor of something simpler and cleaner. What could be cleaner than Mr. Bubble?

It does, however, seem a little self-centered ... and then again, when most people who know me hear "Mr. Webel" they think of my dad, not me (sorry, kids, it's true). Am I old enough to truly adopt the "Mister" title? Is the design overdone? What do you think?

Hatt-baby!

Quite possibly the funniest website I've seen in a long time:

Higher Ground

Lord, please grant me Your grace, for you know better than i how dreadfully insufficient i am. Why do i, seemingly a mere boy, seek to become a man, when You have already placed immortality in my heart? i seek solid footsteps, but i realize that my stride has nothing to do with firm footing ... it's all about the ground beneath my feet.

I'm pressing on the upward way,
New heights I'm gaining every day;
Still praying as I'm onward bound,
"Lord, plant my feet on higher ground."

My heart has no desire to stay
Where doubts arise and fears dismay;
Though some may dwell where these abound,
My prayer, my aim is higher ground.

I want to live above the world,
Though Satan's darts at me are hurled;
For faith has caught the joyful sound,
The song of saints on higher ground.

I want to scale the utmost height
And catch a gleam of glory bright;
But still I'll pray, 'til heaven I've found
"Lord, lead me on to higher ground."

Lord, lift me up and let me stand
By faith on heaven's table-land,
A higher plane than I have found:
Lord, plant my feet on higher ground.

-Johnson Oatman Jr., 1898

Man.

Anonymous:lance... Anonymous:can I ask ya a semi personal question LanceUhLot:sure Anonymous:have you ever kissed a girl before? LanceUhLot:no. LanceUhLot:i've been kissed, but i was not a willing participant. Anonymous:how could you resist that though??? LanceUhLot: it was in high school, on a dark bus, and i was just talking to this girl i didn't even know (she was 2 years older), when she just radomly kissed me. i was like, "what are you doing?" LanceUhLot: it made me laugh, because we were talking about something random, like football or balloons or cheese or something. Anonymous: was she "out of it" or drunk or something? LanceUhLot no, she was just a little weird ... so i found out. Anonymous: obviously LanceUhLot: but i've never truly kissed a girl. Anonymous: i have this plan... Anonymous: very impossible one at that Anonymous: the girl  that I dated 5 months ago for a week... Anonymous: (the one I really screwed up on) Anonymous: i swore to be the last girl I date unless I know marriage is a possibility Anonymous: of course its not a possiblity Anonymous: but also Anonymous: i want my wedding kiss Anonymous: to be the first time i kiss my wife LanceUhLot: of course that's a possibility. LanceUhLot: "You may now kiss the bride." Anonymous: thats very easy for you to say lance Anonymous: thats why i look up to ya so much on this subject Anonymous: i mean i ahve came close to loosing my virginity... and.. that jsut scares the crap outa me LanceUhLot: dude, when you kiss a girl, it's a choice you make. Anonymous: yes I know Anonymous: but i want to make pure choices LanceUhLot: if you really want to NOT kiss a girl, then you need to choose NOT to do so. Anonymous: lust of the flesh is a tough enemy LanceUhLot: a man is only a man when he remains faithful to his promises. that's integrity, whether you're a man or a woman. Anonymous: my integrity does suck LanceUhLot: the biggest problem with lust of the flesh is that america (and much of the christian world) tries to deal with it in a woman-like fashion. LanceUhLot: they talk about it, try to "figure it out", look at the feelings and emotions and rationalize everything ... Anonymous: well it does say flee youthful lust Anonymous: 1 corinthians 6:18 Anonymous: i think LanceUhLot: when what it really takes is a choice ... a braveheart-esque decision of courage, to say no and let your decision stand for good. Anonymous: is that how it worked for you? LanceUhLot: eventually, yes. LanceUhLot: you're right, i totally had the privaledge of "inexperience". LanceUhLot: my mind wasn't flooded with experiences, just with desires and such. Anonymous: your not missing anything..... LanceUhLot: and i had a long, hard struggle with pornography. and through that, i probably experienced much of what you struggle with. Anonymous: how did u over come that one?? LanceUhLot: and the only way out of that was through a decision to be a man. Anonymous: ok Anonymous: i think every guy now a days has delt with pornogrophy at least once in his life LanceUhLot: a decision to be bigger than any problem, to accept the role God has given me as a man of God. i saw how it was controlling my life, my thoughts, and making decisions for me. and through each small decision i made to not give it territory in my life, i saw my desires for impurity get less and less and my desire for purity grow. Anonymous: garbage in garbage out Anonymous: purity in purity out Anonymous: right? LanceUhLot: yes. Anonymous: i can make the descion to stop LanceUhLot: purity is much more than the absence of dirty stuff ... it's being filled with the cleanliness of God. Anonymous: but its filling in the gap that is hard Anonymous: the word Anonymous: prayer LanceUhLot: yes. that's where, for me, i think of my wife. Anonymous: i think we have just solved some of my problems Anonymous: but LanceUhLot: i already love her so much, even though i haven't met her, that i want to be the man that she deserves. i'm making decisions right now, even small things like who i invest in and what i buy, that will affect her in the future. most of all, i'm building character that will be a foundation of our marriage. Anonymous: you have to have some kind of weakness still LanceUhLot: i do ... but that weakness is in temptation ... my decision has to be not to yeild to that temptation and make decisions in favor of it. LanceUhLot: i hate the fact that i have to think about the dirty or possessive things that enter my mind ... but it's worn itself into my life ... kinda like acne scars or something. Anonymous: i have prayed for my future wife Anonymous: mostly just that she is able to forgive me of my past Anonymous: and that some how I can make it up to her through Love LanceUhLot: dude, the reality is that she WILL forgive you for that. that's required for her ... but you can't go on making poor decisions. it's just the same with God ... the bible says that God gives us grace ... but we shouldn't go on sinning so that grace can abound. LanceUhLot: that didn't sound right ... i didn't mean that it's "required for her" ... Anonymous: yeah Anonymous: i know what you ment though LanceUhLot: i meant that you'll most likely find yourself in a beautiful situation, where she sees past the scars and defects and loves you not because of who you are or what you look like, but for no real reason at all. Anonymous: aah.... i see LanceUhLot: conditional love always falls short ... that's why looking at girls and their "compatibility" with you will always lead to a love that isn't agape. Anonymous: i am a moron sometimes... you are right LanceUhLot: did i say that? Anonymous: no Anonymous: lol LanceUhLot: good! cause i dont' think so! Anonymous: call it self conviction LanceUhLot: dude, on one hand i can't wait to be with her. but on the other hand i love this whole waiting period. Anonymous: builds up more suspense and causes you to love her more LanceUhLot: yeah. but i'm humbled to see how un-ready i really am for her. Anonymous: no one is trully ready Anonymous: even us LanceUhLot: yeah. Anonymous: are we ready to be Gods bride? LanceUhLot: no ... but thankfully he doesn't love us conditionally ... see what i mean? LanceUhLot: it's amazing. Anonymous: yes LanceUhLot: we are LIVING in an example of how we should love. LanceUhLot: and yet it's still so hard. Anonymous: why are we so weak? Anonymous: I mean seriously Anonymous: back in the day Anonymous: like moses days Anonymous: they had it together Anonymous: look at us Anonymous: we;re stupid laodiceans LanceUhLot: why do you say that? i disagree ...  LanceUhLot: look at david and bathsheeba LanceUhLot: abraham and sarah Anonymous: still Anonymous: they were still very holy LanceUhLot: paul said that being married is virtually impossible. Anonymous: thye screwed up yes Anonymous: but not as much as we do Anonymous: thyeah... Anonymous: he also said it is good to not even touch a woman LanceUhLot: how can you rate who's screwing up more? i don't get it ... it's the same human nature that made david lust after bathsheeba. LanceUhLot: and he killed her husband just to have her ... and he's a "man after God's own heart"? Anonymous: point taken LanceUhLot: i can firmly say that i'll never do anything like kill a man for his wife ... but i struggle with how to be a "man after God's own heart." Anonymous: we all do

Children's Deep Thoughts

I was going through some old emails, when I ran across this one sent to me by Pam Davis (a.k.a. Spam) a year and a half ago. Believe it or not, it's still funny. :) These are from an actual newspaper contest where entrants ages 4 to 15 were asked to imitate "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey." What demented kids they must be ...

I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?
--Age 15

Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money.
--Age 13

Democracy is a beautiful thing, except for that part about letting just any ol' person vote.
--Age 10

I often wonder how come John Tesh isn't as popular a singer as some people think he should be. Then, I remember it's because he stinks.
--Age 15

For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese. Then the astronauts found that the moon is really a big hard rock. That's what happens to cheese when you leave it out.
--Age 6

My younger brother asked me what happens after we die. I told him we get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies. I guess I should have told him the truth--that most of us go to hell and burn eternally -- but I didn't want to upset him.
--Age 10

I don't know about you, but I enjoy watching paint dry. I imagine that the wet paint is a big fresh water lake that is the only source of water for some tiny cities by the lake. As the lake gets drier, the population gets more desperate, and sometimes there are water riots. Once there was a big fire and everyone died.
--Age 13

Often, when I am reading a good book, I stop and thank my teacher. That is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number.
--Age 15

Think of the biggest number you can. Now add five. Then, imagine if you had that many Twinkies. Wow, that's five more than the biggest number you could come up with!
--Age 6

Once, I wept for I had no shoes. Then I came upon a man who had no feet. So I took his shoes. I mean, it's not like he really needed them, right?
--Age 15

If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualize world peace for an hour, imagine how serene and quiet it would be until the looting started.
--Age 15

What Did Dela Wear?

So i'm in New Jersey, sitting at a computer for the first time in days, completely exhausted. But i feel compelled to spend a few minutes typing a blog entry. I suppose I could tell a little about my misadventures during this week. We'll see.

As you may know, this week was spring break at school ... so I decided to make the trek out to Massachusetts to visit one of my best friends, Kevin Maletich. I grew up with Kevin back in Akron, hanging out with him since I was about 2 weeks old (we used to call it "chillin' in my crib"). He had visited me several times at Miami, so this was my chance to visit him out in Cape Cod, where he works as a missionary. He leads teams of kids, called King's Kids, throughout New England, where they minister to fellow kids.

The drive out there was horrible. It took me 16 hours ... way longer than I had ever driven in one day before ... through the worst snow/rain imaginable in Pennsylvania. I saw at least 5 overturned semis (and slipped more times than I want to remember). But I got there safely (thank you Jesus!), and had a wonderful time getting to know Kevin's lifestyle and such. I even got to help out with the gym classes that he teaches!

On Wednesday we decided to go to Boston for the day. I'll tell you more about that later ... once I have the chance to upload some pictures to show you. So that'll be its own blog entry later this weekend.

And now I'm at my sister's house in Princeton. It's so good to see them all ... the twins are huge, Nathaniel's into sports now (and he might come to camp with me this summer!), Caleb is growing up (but he's sick right now, poor thing), and Ross and Ronda are definately becoming master parental units. They amaze me, they truly do. How much fun!

Ok, I wish I wasn't so tired ... but I am. So you're going to have to settle for this boring narrative tonight. Tomorrow I have a 10 hour trip (although I'm taking an interesting route through 5 states that could bring it down to 8ish hours). Funny stories and clever lines will surely follow sometime, but for now I'm calling it quits. Peace out, chillins'.

(oh, if you were wondering, Dela wore her New Jersey)

Appreciation Station

When I went to Florida a couple of weeks ago, Tim (Mr. Clark) was my substitute, he covered my classes. He decided to do an awesome activity with the classes ... have them write letters of appreciation to different teachers around the school. A few of them decided to write letters to me. After some thought, I figured that it was my duty to share them with you. They are touching, clever, endearing, amusing, and cute all at the same time. I am honored by their remarks. Even the witty ones where you can't really tell if they mean what they say. Yeah ... these kids rock my socks.

Dear Mr. Webel You are like my best friend. You are the funniest person in the world. I admirer that you work at a CHRISTIAN camp, and how you are never mad and always have a smile on your face. I like the projects that we do especially the one were we had to make an Internet site. I like that you're here at this school and that you love god. Sincerely, Austin

Dear Mr. Webel, Your hair really brings out the Webel in you. The gel really makes you look hot. I llike your new shirt. You are one of the best computer teachers I have ever had. I have learned so much in your class. Thank you for changing my password 4 times when I really needed it. You are my inspiration for computers. I really liked the lesson on ergonomics. I have been following them ever since. You have set my path straight for computers. I will never forget you, even when I am in my deathbed you will be running through my head. I bet you have a lot of friends. I mean at least 50! Thanks a lot. Sincerely, Trae

Dear Mr. Webel, Do you know what. I really like the colorful fish that you keep in your really clean glass fish tank. You must really be a hard-working man. I have never seen any fish poop or floaters in your fish tank. I admire that. You liven up the class with your activities that are interactive. I like the way you dress because wearing clothes is a cool thing to do. Computer Literacy is my favorite class mostly because you are the teacher. It is very helpful to have fish in your classroom because as you say, "Fish are calming". I remember at the beginning of the year when you used to let Matt and I go fishing in your fish tank. I think at the end of the year you should let us go fishing again. I know you will becaseu you are the nicest teaching in the whole entire world. The best and most wonderful student in the whole entire world, who always does his homework and loves school and Spiral Eye Guy, Stephen

I'm Gonna Clip Your Paper

This was sent to me by alert reader Vince*. It sounds like a conversation I had last week with a teacher about a technical problem - his CD-ROM drive was stuck. Vince must've secretly recorded what we were talking about. Here it is:

A Paper Clip?

*Don't I sound like Dave Barry when I type the phrase "alert reader"?

I'll Keep Their Gender Confidential.

Nothing In Particular

i don't really have anything specific to say, i just feel like typing what i feel today. it's been a good week. this is the last day before spring break, so everyone around here (myself included) seems to be trying to simply maintain, to make it to the weekend. it's Spiritual Life Emphasis week here at school, which means that we have chapel a couple of extra times (aw, yeah).

it also means that i had a chance to share one of my favorite parts of scripture with the kids in my classes. 5th graders and 8th graders alike, they all got to discover one of the many amazing links between Jesus and the prophecy about him. in short, we read mark 15:25-37, which is the story of Jesus on the cross. we set the stage, talking a little about the torture he endured and the reality of how people were treating Him. then we looked at what He said ... "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" in the original language, it sounded a little like "Elijah" (it was "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani"), so some of the people thought he was calling for Elijah (and it's understandable, He had been hanging on a cross, trying desperately to breathe, for 6 hours by then, so his speech probably wasn't that clear). anyways ... here's the amazing thing. what Jesus was actually doing when He said that was quoting scripture! just look at psalm 22 sometime ... the prophecy there is amazing! and Jesus quoted it as some of His last words on the cross!

needless to say, i love this ... and i love teaching it to kids. the Truth is literally amazing. but until you see it with your eyes, it doesn't matter. you know?

i'm going to visit my friend kevin in cape cod over break. that's exciting for me. and, as a bonus, i'm going to stop by and visit my sister and her famly in princeton nj. it's good ... they've had a particularly rough time lately, with 4 young kids (nathaniel, caleb, naomi, and claire), 3 of which have special needs. i spent a summer at their house helping them after my sister had the twin girls, and i miss them a lot. granted ... i'm not really looking forward to the drive, but it should be a swell vacation.

last night i fell asleep on accident. i love that. i was watching the duke/indiana game, when all of the sudden the clock no longer said it was the first half ... there were 14 seconds left in the game ... and on top of that, indiana was winning (they ended up beating the dukies)! i'm doing pretty well with my bracket. you can see it here if you want. i picked oregon to win it all. and we're right on schedule. not that i'm an oregon fan or anything ... i just picked them (i'm just about the only one in the country that picked the ducks). call it a hunch. call me crazy. but i'm in the 92nd percentile of the nation right now!

i'm glad i don't have to wear rubber bands in my mouth. andrew just stopped by and showed me his orthadontist stuff ... and there are rubber bands in his mouth. here's the disturbing thing ... they're named Fred and Chuck. not his orthodontists ... the rubber bands. let me clarify once again ... andrew did not name them that, the package they are in clearly labels the rubber bands "Fred" and "Chuck", straight from the factory, printed on the packages. woah ... i'm not gonna touch that one.

i think i'm gonna go bother some students now. peace out.

I'm Famous?

today i recieved the following email in response to leveled, my online slideshow of New York City:

Dear Ohio Photographer- I was looking at your September 11 photos on your website. I was wondering if there was any way I could get one of these photos autographed from you. My sincere apologies for the events you witnessed on that day. Thank you for your time and good luck in the future. Cory Albertson Warsaw, IN

it really made me chuckle ... i don't think i've ever been asked for my signature, for real, before. but this guy was earnest, and i realized once again how deeply this event has touched our country. how amazing. so i wrote the guy back politely:

Cory, Thanks for your email ... it really was an incredible situation, witnessing the gravity and reality of the situation there. We're all fallen, we're all in need of something bigger than ourselves. It was so obvious in the countanances of the people there. Is there a particular photo that you wanted? I didn't take them on a camera with very good resolution, so it might not turn out very well in print (it was digital), but we can try it. I must say, it's quite strange being asked for my signature ... I'm just a normal person, like you. graced, lance

and his reply:

Dear Lance- I realize you are just a normal bystander with a camera, I just thought it would be cool if I could get it signed by the photographer. It really doesn't matter which one you should send. Send me the one that you like the most. If there is any way I can reimburse you please don't resitate to let me know. Once again thank you, and best wishes. Cory Albertson

i think there are some truly incredible people out there.

Pigs In Spaaaaace ...

	Lance, you're Fozzie! Wokka Wokka! You love to make lame jokes. Your sense of humor might be a bit off, but you're a great friend and can always be counted on..
Take the What Muppet Are You? Quiz!

is this a horoscope? a prophecy? it definately noticed the webel humor. when i grow up, i want to be one of the old muppets in the balcony.

I've Been Framed!

i've had a new site design brewing in my head since sunday. not only is the one i have here slightly scary (several of you have complained about my decapitated face to the right), but it was always intended to be a temporary design, as i figured out this whole blogging (journaling) thing and saw the response it got. i recently transferred my domain membership to doteasy to take advantage of their freedom from advertisements (thank you Jesus!) and server space capabilities (that change has yet to take effect, but it should in a day or two).

the design i'm tossing around is centered around a picture frame (or pehaps within one). i've long understood that i was created as a masterpiece, a work of art. Ephesians 2:10 says that "we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." the greek word for "workmanship" is poeima ... a work of art (the same root as poem). we are not just creatures, we are creations.

but we have such a hard time seeing our worth, seeing our God-given beauty. we're created in the image of God ... and yet we get bogged down with things like insecurity, physical appearances, performance for other humans, self-depreciation, and so on and so on.

personally, i need to continually remind myself that i am not my own, that i am the creation of God. He has designed me, given me sustinance and life, and created me for a purpose. all of this frames the poeima that is me.

inside this frame, however, is quite a surprise. one of the most amazing things about this work of art is that it is living ... it is organic. we move and breathe, we change and grow. we make choices, we interact with other works of art. i simply think that is astounding.

this website is intended to, in part, be a reflection of myself ... a glimpse inside my world, an organic (moving, changing, growing) supplement to the life that is in me. surely it can't hope to compete or even mimic the awesome work of my Creator. but through the meek and feeble attempt at human creation it shows a beauty of its own ... recognition of His ownership and workmanship.

yeah.

Goosed.

So they say I'm the classic yellow squeeky toy.
Find your own inner rubber ducky.

My Head is Full of Mucus

i've been getting sick all week, from long hours at work, running for the first time in years, and the plethora of viruses (viri?) that circulate in a middle school. it's crazy, i feel my head exploding and all. any good advice out there? here's an interesting fact about mucus from the Useless Information Society:

Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks. Otherwise it will digest itself.

isn't that great?

A Great Website

Here's something.

Now I'm On Track

don't you just love these punny titles? i used to have a job writing headlines for the Miami Student ... but on to the blog entry ...

i decided yesterday that i'm going to coach the track team. i was pretty unsure if i wanted to commit so much time with the school year wrapping up and camp season approaching, but when i took one look at the roster of 7th and 8th graders on the team, i couldn't not coach! and after our first practice today, i have mixed feelings. namely, my mind and spirit feel really awesome and my body feels like shredded beef.

yeah ... i'm out of shape. i ran about 2 miles total today ... about 3/4 of a mile to the high school track, where we practice, then another 1 1/4 miles for a workout. it's been a long time since i've done a "workout," and now my body is definately shouting "Lance ... what are you SMOKING!?!" i can already feel the lactic acid coming through my pores as the soreness drowns me out.

but the students on the team, like i mentioned, are incredible. they are all so encouraging, so mature, so motivated. we're gonna have fun and also learn a lot. and we're gonna spend a whole lot of time together (ever been to a track meet? yeah, a lotta time together.) ... an amazing chance to really get to know them intimately and form real friendships there. that's been one of my deep desires this year ... to really develop relationships with my students that go beyond the one-hour-per-week computer classes, and even beyond the jovial-casual-cliche-ish relationships that come so easily in a Christian school. i have the honor of being an actual part of their generation ... i actually understand and take part in their culture and still relate to them in many ways ... and yet i've been there, done that, got the eternal life and delicious relationship with God to prove it.

so, needless to say, i'm pumped about track. and pooped from track. anyone have a hot tub?

A Motto To Live By

boy, this is crazy, coming back to school. i've been gone for a week, and there are so many things to do. it's time to order new equipment, design training sessions for the teachers, go through my millions of new emails, make curriculum changes for next year, and get some lesson plans in order for the rest of this week. plus, i have quite a bit of recruiting and program planning to do for camp this summer. you know, i do love this stuff, sometimes i just wish i had a week off to just catch up, to get things in order. business, busy-ness. good thing i have this motto:

Don't sweat the petty things.
Don't pet the sweaty things.

Another Day, Another Adventure

i just returned to my hotel room to find that it had been robbed! it was so much emptier than when i left it an hour ago to go rollerblading ... but as i looked around, i noticed that nothing was missing. in fact, whoever was there had apparantly cleaned up ... they made the beds and gave me new towels. then i realized it ... this new hotel actually comes and cleans your room. whew. so now i've got a kitchen, hot tub (not in the room, but downstairs), and people that actually clean up after me! how awesome is that!

there was this hilarious infomercial on yesterday for a place called "Appliance Direct." it was so funny that i had to call rachel mcpherson at midnite just to tell her. the owner, this stocky asian guy that was way too excited about appliances, was trying to convince everybody to buy appliances from him. the best was the dishwasher segment ... i'm going to try to obtain a videotape from them tomorrow. hee hee. more on that later.

i missed the bus yesterday for the casino cruise. twice. oh well. it looked like it was going to be a blast, but in the confusion of getting a new hotel room and trying to find the right hotels to catch the bus from, i totally must have missed it. instead, i had dinner at an out-of-the-way pizza place (where i left my credit card), read a ton of Tolkien, and had that wonderfully refreshing conversation with rachel. what a treasure she is.

i wonder if there are going to be any other young rebel teachers like me at this conference. so far, i've only seen the typical "adult-like" people roaming around, people you would expect to be at a teacher conference. but technology throws a wrench into the equation ... how many other schools around the nation have entrusted people like me with their school's technology? i admire CHCA so much for their courage ... seeing some kind of potential in me and really trusting me with a lot of responsibility and resources. most companies and schools are hesitant to look beyond paper and see the person, but CHCA has really done that.

hey, this is funny ... an E*Trade commercial just came on showing the same thing. a guy in a business suit was conducting interviews with people and saying things like this ... "So, you haven't had a job in 8 years? Welcome aboard!" or "You have no references? Welcome to the family!" or even the infamous "We'll get back in touch with you ... just kidding! Welcome aboard!" i really feel like that. i'm nobody ... no study in education or technology, no certification or licensure, no job experience almost anywhere. but they saw personality and ambition in me, and perhaps even saw my love for the Lord and desire to minister to kids, and trusted that. or maybe they were just really desperate. all i can say is that i'm thankful. wondrously thankful.

All This for a Quarter?

hey, it's time to update y'all on what's going on down here. this is actually kinda fun ... i have plenty of time to just give a rundown of what's been going on the past couple of days. this may turn out to be rather long ... so just stop reading if you're not interested in narrative. really, stop. one interesting thing ... it costs $.25 per minute to use the internet at kinko's, so i'm going to type all of this up on my laptop and try to post it in less than a minute. i think it'll be fun to just hand the guy a
quarter and walk out ...

Kids are Funny.

i flew out from indianapolis, so i had the pleasure of visiting my sister, mona, and her family. they have two little girls, grace and rachel, and a little stud, drew. i got in pretty late on friday (wrapping up at school took longer than i thought), so mona and seth and i just talked a little. but then saturday morning i got to play with the nephs/neices ... it was fun! they're growing up so much! but i'll cut the cute uncle talk and tell you a joke that grace had for me ...

aw, man, i forget it. but it was funny, i promise! i'll remember eventually. she also knew the banana/orange knock-knock joke, but i messed that one up.

Airport Insecurity

with all of the talk lately about crazy delays at the airport, i found myself ready for an adventure come saturday afternoon. surprisingly, there was almost no line at all! when it was my turn to go into the terminal, however, i was one of the lucky chosen few that got to remove my shoes and shorts. (ok, i'm kidding about the shorts part ... i was wearing pants anyway). while i was standing there casually for several minutes (i was in my socks, remember), i became suddenly bemused. or amused. whatever. it was so entertaining to just watch the circus before me. people of all ages, colors, shapes, sizes,
socio-economic-strata, were all being treated the same. the airport dudes had it down ... waving those wands all over, saying just the right phrase to be bold but not offend people, having fun yet being secure. it was almost like an oversized flea circus, with people instead of invisible fleas.

i guess i can't explain what amused me so much. just take my word for it.

on the plane, i sat next to a spring-break-bound abercrombie-loving stud named mike. don't get me wrong ... he seemed pretty nice, but he didn't want to talk much. so i turned to look out the window for much of the trip. i was enthralled by the clouds ... we flew about 40 feet above them most of the time ... these thick puffy cumulonimbus cotton clouds. the neatest thing were the shadows. the thing that gave dimension and wonder to the clouds were the places where the sun couldn't reach. in all, it got me in this pensive philosophical mode ... how so much of the dimension in this world is revealed by darkness. especially in humankind ... how our nature is
revealed by the contrast between God's creation and beauty and our continual urges to hide in the shadow of sin. there's a lot to be said there ...

Is This a Chevy Chase Movie?

i took a shuttle van from the airport to the hotel. aside from a great conversation with an old miami friend (who might be coming to counsel at camp this summer!), it was rather uneventful. but the luxurious days inn, where i'm staying, is full of surprises! simply put, it's nasty. to flush the toilet you have to hold the handle down for a minute. the remote for the tv doesn't work, and i'm scared to take a bath. but it does have a hair dryer. big time. hey, i'm not complaining ... it's free!

don't get me wrong ... i love the fact that i'm conveniently at the front of the hotel, which sits directly across from an amusement park. the go-carts, ferris wheel, bumper boats, and all just give you the full taste of orlando night-life ... at 2am. just hearing the sounds of excitement almost makes you lose sleep! needless to say, tonight's my last night here ... i'm transfering a mile closer to the convention center to the best western tomorrow ... ricardo there is gonna give me a deal. :)

I'm a Tourist

the bulk of my time i've just been wandering in and out of shops, up and down international drive, watching people and getting a sense for the climate here. it's been so much fun! i didn't expect to be buying anything, but i've actually ended up with quite a few things ... a belt, pair of shorts, and pair of gloves from the dollar store (can't beat that!) ... and three pairs of shorts from the puma outlet (i realized i didn't have any sports shorts for warmer weather) for about $5 each. bring it.

i had lunch at the pizza hut next door, where the food was good, the reading was enjoyable (i'm almost done with "The Lord of the Rings"), and the owner was friendly. as i was paying my bill, he freaked me out. it was the first time a grown man has ever referred to me as "Sexy." i couldn't tell if he calls guys that all the time, or if he meant something special about it. judging from my unkempt fro and cut-off shorts, you would usually assume that he was being sarcastic ... but there was a genuine sense of earnesty in his voice. maybe i'll have to go back to find out.

just kidding.

i visited the orange county convention center, where the FETC is going to be held wednesday through friday, and was blown away. that place is absolutely huge!!! there was a cheerleading convention going on, the us open championships or something, but i couldn't get in without a badge. i've never seen so many adolescent girls trying to fit into the pop-culture image in my life. you know, i think there's a good reason why they call it "make-up." it's all contrived ... what it does is cover up the real person (cover girl?) in an attempt to turn girls into an image. kinda like uniforms ... that's why military (and eventually band) uniforms were invented ... so all of the individualism of the soldiers could be sacrificed for the good of the army. it was a good thing ... until we took that into social circles ... like dressing guys up like penguins (in tuxes) so we'd all fit "the image." craziness ...

anyways, i'm really excited about the convention. there are thousands of merchants, hundreds of seminars and workshops, and it looks like they're doing a quality job with it all. i'm so excited! i'll tell you all about it later.

Swimming with Ducks

i ate dinner tonight at sbarro, and the cashier there asked me a strange question ... When are you gonna get there?", he said. i was really confused. then i realized that i was wearing my miamia "Gotta Get There" shirt. it was so funny that i had to call mike dunfee (an actual living breathing Superfan of the Game from miami). we had a great conversation, but then i had to go because the trolley was about to close and i needed to get back to my dream hotel. when i walked outside, groceries-in-hand, i discovered that i was actually in ohio. it was cold and rainy, and i was in shorts and a t-shirt! at
the trolley-stop, i met a couple (of married folks) from england. they were bummed that they left the U.K. only to come to rainy florida ... but it gave me a sense of belonging, it made me feel at home, in a sense.

when i got back to the houghtel, i had the inescapable urge to try out my new puma swim trunks. so i grabbed a towel, put on some shoes, and headed half a mile down the road to the holiday inn. i wasn't even going to humor the days inn by looking for the pool, i'm sure it was nasty too. when i got to the holiday inn, i found that it was supposedly closed (since 11:30). but that couldn't stop me ... they had a hot tub, perfect for this ohio weather. so i went through the unlocked gate and slipped quietly into the refreshing water. i noted that there were ducks swimming in the pool, so after a few minutes i went
in and went swimming with them. it was pretty humerous ... they were actually following me around. i almost wish there was a security camera there ... not so i could get caught and arrested, so i could possibly bribe the night watchman into selling me a copy of the videotape. hee hee hee. i guess you had to be there. i was.

Born a Gambling Man

so that's all for now. i'm back in the hotel, enjoying some "Mrs. Freshness" doughnuts and "Full of Pulp" orange juice. tomorrow i'm going to go on a free gambling cruise with Sterling Casino Lines. it's this thing where they bus you out to the beach then give you a cruise on their giant 75,000 square foot floating casino, hoping you'll gamble your life savings away all night. little do they know that i'm just planning to eat their free "Deli Buffet" and enjoy the entertainment and ocean views without spending a penny on
their "1000 of the Loosest Slots in the World" or "50 Table Games". it says that there is also "Las Vegas Style Entertainment and Dancing" ... i'm sure i'll have some pretty entertaining stories to tell from that.

yee-ha!

Outie.

well, i'm off to florida. i'm not sure that i'll be able to get online down there (but i hope so, it's a technology conference i'm going to), so i'm might not update the site this week. hey, if nothing else, you guys can keep each other entertained by commenting on stuff. :) hasta la pasta!