PVMaelstrom

Well, I've been working hard the last couple of days and I'm proud to say that the PVM Staff DVD's are done, copied, and labeled. I also finished the master copy of the Photo CD, so I simply need to make a few [hundred] copies and slap the labels on. Whew. It's a good feeling to finish something that's been hanging over your head for over a month.

I also updated some of the information on the PVM website. Soon the site will be reorganized, adding some new sections and consolidating others. Most notably, I'll be adding a virtual tour of the camp, a section on the new outdoor education program, a page of links and downloadable forms, and a community blog run by PVM counselors (yippee!). I feel like I'm maturing as a webmaster, starting to understand limitations and flesh out the possibilities of the web. It's good stuff, especially because it should serve as a catalyst to grow our family even closer together (as weird as that may sound).

Ok, the CD I've been waiting for is almost done burning. I'm gonna get my fleece on, go home, and take a hot bath. Mmm. Last time I took a hot bath I literally fell asleep in the tub. So if I drown tonight, please remember that I'm with Jesus (you'll have a couple of days before the funeral to get over the grief thing so you can celebrate with me).

Nil

I have nothing to say today.

My New Family Members

Yesterday I put the finishing touches on my classroom's new terrarium. The past few weeks I've been slowly setting it up, getting the right environment for lizards (more specifically, anoles). Anoles are those little lizards you see all over the place in Florida ... simple critters with some fascinating traits. They change colors, have [slight] personalities, and are generally easy to care for.



The left side of the tank is the basking area. A 40 watt incandescent bulb gives off just enough heat to keep the tank at 80-80 degrees, while some tall grasses, rocks, and driftwood (from a kayaking trip I took with my bro-in-law Ross in NC) give the animals somewhere to bask. Anoles are arboreal animals ... they live in trees and buildings off the ground and really like to let the sun permeate their skin. This is where they'll spend most of their time.

The right side of the tank is pretty sweet ... a Reptisun 5.0 flourescent bulb gives some much needed ultraviolet rays to the anoles, while an ultrasonic fogger creates a mist by sending sound waves through the water in a small pool. The pool is surrounded by rocks and gravel and a couple plants. This side of the tank keeps the humidity up (at 70-80%) while providing some shade and a water source for the lizards. Anoles will only drink water that's moving or that's beaded up on leaves (the shimmer helps them see the reflection). Oh, and it also looks pretty sweet.



So yesterday I bought three anoles from Petsmart (suprisingly, they had some really healthy ones in a well-kept tank). It was an adventure selecting them ... they simply don't like to be caught. Eventually, however, we got them in a bag (and I got some crickets as well). They seem to like their new environment, exploring around and using the different parts of the terrarium as they were intended. Eventually I'll add 3-4 more, and possible even a tree frog or two.

This morning, however, I walked in to find one of the anoles perched on the outside of the tank. That little bugger had found a way to escape and had slipped through during the night. He hadn't gone far, though ... it almost seemed that he was trying to teach me a lesson as he looked at me.



Best of all, the kids are stoked about the anoles. They ask me daily if they're here yet and have been contributing to a "cricket fund" with their leftover lunch money. It'll be neat to teach them a little more about animal behavior and select a couple of students to actually take care of the animals. It's good stuff!

Who Let The Dawgs Out?

I was convinced that my beloved Browns lost their first two games because I was unable to tune them in and cheer them on. Naturally, then, I was stoked when I realized that the game was on CBS today during three free hours of my day.

I didn't doubt their impending win for a minute ... not after the 49ers manhandled them for 3 quarters, not after Kelly Holcolmb sprained his ankle, not after the commentators badmouthed them the entire game.

Nope, Holcolmb had two touchdown passes to Andre Davis in the fourth quarter, the last one with 29 seconds left after a 92-yard 17-play winning drive, to beat San Fransisco 13-12.

That's what I'm talking about, boys.

Market Share vs. User Share

I just wanna clear the air about something, set it straight once and for all. I'm not really defensive about the topic, it just simply gets old seeing the public feed on misinformation. So I'll step down for a second and present a mildly political subject here.

I hear and read, over and over, that Apple only has a 3-5% market share in personal computing. Many conclusions are often drawn from this statistic without even thinking what it means or where that statistic comes from. So let me rephrase the statement ... Of all new computers sold each year, 3-5% of them are new Apple computers. That's it.

Sounds basically the same, but it's actually not. Take these things into consideration:

1. Apple computers just last longer. As I repeatedly talk to families at school and at the mall, I see that PC owners tend to have things go wrong with their computers, or feel they're outdated, every 1-3 years. It's not uncommon to see an Apple user actually using his machine from 6-8 years ago. Yes, they might be cheap consumers, but the fact that they don't buy a new machine every two years obviously skews the statistic we're referring to. More Apple machines aren't sold every year because the old ones still work well for their owners.

2. Many PC owners have 2-5 machines in their home (this one goes hand-in-hand with the previous paragraph). For some reason, however, Apple users tend to only have one family machine (until their kids go to college). I don't quite understand why, but it's a pattern that I see quite a bit. They use it until "the family" needs a new one (not until their kid needs one too) then they replace it.

3. Perhaps most importantly, a vast amount of PC users out there aren't actual "users" at all. Their machines sit there, gathering dust, used only sparingly or in drastic need. Perhaps their machines are riddled with problems ... spyware, virus-stricken, P2P'ed up the wazoo, bogged down with endless problems, with boarded up Windows. Or maybe they bought a computer at one time because they "thought they needed one" but soon found out that it wasn't worth the time or effort to keep it running well. The truth is, it takes a lot of work to keep a PC working smoothly and efficiently. I know ... I help to service over 200 PC's at work, and if we're not constantly on the ball, we just lose complete systems all the time. There are too many variables of things that can ruin the user experience. Hence, there are too many PC lemons out there. Sadly, though, this explains both why there are more PC's sitting out there and why more new PC's are sold (often it's easier and cheaper to just buy a new one rather than fix the current problems).

4. Finally, do a search on eBay for computers some time. You'll find that Apple machines hold their value tremendously. A year after I bought this iBook, I could have sold it on eBay for a profit (I got a great deal when I bought it). But that's absolutely INSANE! When you break the seal on a PC box, it automatically loses 1/2 - 2/3 of its value, no joke. In fact, hardly anyone resells his/her PC. It just makes more sense to trash it. Non-profit orgs. won't even accept them. At school, we clean them up and sell them to teachers for $50 (with a clear statement that we WILL NOT do technical support for them). Simply said, many Apple users are content to purchase a system that is 2-3 years old instead of buying a new machine. Hmm.

There are probably more things I haven't taken into account, but those four were on the top of my head. Just think about it ... the number of new computers sold is not the best indication of the number of computers that are currently in use. I would argue vehemently that Apple's User Share (the percentage of computers in use) is closer to 15-20%. If you really consider my #3 point above, it may actually rise to 25% (don't act so shocked). That's not a mathematical or measured fact, just a personal prediction.

If you're doing an article on the stock market, please continue to quote Apple's market share ... that's an appropriate use of the statistic. But if you're doing an article on how many people use Macs, please stop talking about how many new machines are sold. You're using an inapplicable statistic and you sound really stupid (especially to those of us who actually use our machines daily). Any good reporter or writer should THINK about the parameters on statistics before regurgitating them in his/her articles.

And if anyone can come up with a good way of actually measuring computer User Share, I'm all ears.

Tom Swifties

A Tom Swifty is a pun where the action is described with an adverb. I've taken way too much some time to list my favorite Tom Swifties for each letter of the alphabet in this post (I found them here). If you're a Webel you're gonna laugh your head off. If you're not, you'll probably laugh your head off at the thought of me laughing my head off.

A = "I'm wearing my wedding ring," said Tom with abandon.
B = "Use your own toothbrush!" Tom bristled.
C = "Don't add too much water," said Tom with great concentration.
D = "Dat's de end of April," said Tom in dismay.
E = "I used to be a paratrooper," Tom explained.
F = "Is your name Frank Lee?" Tom asked frankly.
G = "You must be my host" Tom guessed.
H = "I've still got two fingers left," said Tom handsomely.
I = "I've borrowed my sister's camping gear," said Tom insistently.
J = "His Honor is crazy," Tom admitted judgementally.
K = "I've run out of wool," said Tom, knitting his brow.
L = "I have no recollection of the last twenty-four hours," said Tom lackadaisically.
M = "The girl's been kidnapped," said Tom mistakenly.
N = Naughtily, Tom said nothing.
O = "My wrists are bleeding stumps!" said Tom offhandedly.
P = "I've swallowed some glass," Tom said painfully.
Q = "This is where I keep my arrows," said Tom, quivering.
R = "OK, you can borrow it again," Tom relented.
S = "This tuna is excellent," said Tom superficially.
T = "I have no idea," said Tom thoughtlessly.
U = "I don't know any shanties," said Tom unceasingly.
V = "I need an injection," Tom pleaded in vain.
W = "I need to go on a diet," said Tom wastefully.
X = (ok, there was none)
Y = (none here either, but I'll take suggestions)
Z = "I can't eat any more lemon peel," said Tom zestfully.

"Were those excruciating adverbial puns known as Tom Swifties invented by the author of Gulliver's Travels?" asks Tom swiftly. "No, they were originated by Edward Stratemeyer in a series of strip cartoons about a character called Tom Swift. That was in the USA in the 1920s." Ed states decadently.

Fall Festival

Yes, I am excited that today is International Talk Like A Pirate Day. But today an even bigger event is held at CHCA (my school) ... The Fall Festival. School lets out early as everyone heads outside for a huge carnival, full of games and prizes and general fun for the whole family.

One of the most popular elements of fun at the Fall Festival is the annual dunk tank. If a student can hit a little round target with a baseball, it will dump a victim into a huge vat of water. I've been drafted to lead off today, occupying this dunk tank for the first hour (from 2-3).



Now, I'm fairly certain that nobody is going to be able to hit that little target, so I wore something a little special. That's right, I broke out my old Glee Club tuxedo for the festivities. It's been hilarious to walk around school today with it on. At first several students asked me, "Mr. Webel, are you getting married today?" ... then they started to realize that I'm wearing it in the dunk tank. Oh, yeah. Bring it on, kids.

Good thing they all have horrible aim. I'll be fine.

Piratecore

According to The Poor Man, there's a one-to-one correlation betwen pirate talk and ganstah rap. Compare these phrases:

Gangstah --> Pirate
fo'ties --> bottles o' rum
bling bling --> booty
Yo! --> Avast!
Homey --> Matey
Pop a cap in yo head --> Make you walk the plank
Word --> Arrrrrrrrr
Beat down --> Keel haul
Wack MC --> Land lubber
Playah --> Swashbuckler
Mack Daddy --> Cap'n
Jacking --> Plundering
Rap --> Sea Shanties
The joint --> The brig
Crew --> Crew

And yes, piratecore does exist (not just in "Sons of The Sea"). Here are some real piratecore bands:

The Scurvy Pirates
The Bilge Pumps
Pirates in Your Pants

Ahoy, Me Matey!

The pirate speaks, "Look at this! Propst' Rachel for noticin' that tomorrow be Talk Like A Pirate Day. Check out that website for language lessons, pirate pickup lines, pirate personality tests, and a whole slewo'pirate links (please note: I do not endorse t'contento'theselinks).

As you might know, our theme next year at camp will be pirates. Ahoy, me matey. I think I'm a goin't'start talkin' like a pirate in allo'me classes, justt'get better at it. More links to follow tomorrow ...

WindowsRG

I have a lot of good links from the past couple of days, but I think this one takes the cake. Melch, thanks for the hours minutes of entertainment.

Ok, I lied. This game is really my favorite link this week. It's kept me entertained for days hours!

God Bless That Strange Man

Tonight, I dine like a king, courtesy of Jungle Jim.

A Morning of Entropy

Hey folks. If you're reading this, I could use a quick prayer my way. More specifically, I could use some grace for me and some patience from me. It's not very often that I claim to have a "bad day", but it's barely past nine and everything seems to be falling apart. Thanks, yo.

Dee Vee Dee. Finalee.

That's what I get for leaving a job unfinished. I'm trying to assemble the 2003 PVM Staff DVD today and also make a DVD of all of our weekly videos from last summer. I had much of this done before the school year started, but I think I accidentally trashed a few of the files because they had the wrong names on them (whoops!). On top of that, I simply can't remember how I had everything organized, so I'm finding that I have to redo quite a bit of things. Que sera, eh?

If you're a staff member and wondering about what'll be on the DVD, it'll have a video compiled mostly by our illustrious Ms. Davis (with photos and videos of staff memories), a slideshow to remember our campers by, a couple of promo videos for PVM, and copies of all of the summer staff applications and interview transcripts.

In other news, these buttered pretzel twists are scrumptious.

Ten Noteworthy Links

Sometimes I find some pretty great things but never get the chance to post them. Here's a collection of the best links of the week, compiled from a plethora of sources for your viewing pleasure.

1. Operation Slaps: Keep your hands' blood vessels intact while playing this invigorating hand-to-hand combat game online.

2. Big Thunder Mountain becomes Big Tumble Mountain.

3. HAEV U EVER WANTAD 2 COMUNICAETD BTER WIT UR TENAEG SON OR DAUGHT3R??!!?!!! LOL TH3N TRY OUT TEH AOLAR TRANSLA2R111!1 WTF LOL

4. Fulfill that inner urge to become James Bond. This sportscar can go 100 miles per hour then suddenly retract its wheels to become a 30 mph boat. Now that's so wheat.

5. Even IBM is now promoting Linux. Kudos to them for providing this new ad in Quicktime, Real Player, and MPEG Player for Linux right on their website.

6. Dude, this guy got in a box and shipped himself from New York City to Dallas, Texas. He got lucky when they put him in a pressurized cabin (hence, survival), but even though authorities were baffled by his evasion of airport security, they couldn't find a law that he actually broke (this second article is better).

7. Now you can finally understand your best friend.

8. You don't need drugs when you've got [warning: sit down before following link] a website like this.

9. Wanna see a limp bear fall from a tree, bounce off of a trampoline, then hit the ground? Well, then what are you waiting for? The story is here and the movie is here.

10. Ten full pages of candidates? Yes, that's the official California recall ballot ... and I think this thing is a little out of control. Just look at the occupations ... Used Car Dealer, Air Pollution Scientist, Adult Film Actress, Retired Meat Packer, Custom Denture Manufacturer, Golf Professional, Marijuana Legalization Attorney, College Student, Middleweight Sumo Wrestler, Olympics Advisor, ... pretty enternaining, no?

What Is She Dippidy Doin'?

Yeah, windsurfing.

Catch 33

How fast can you catch 33? My best is 47 seconds (on a trackpad).

Leveled.

Two years later. Are we still leveled? As the edifices rise, do our faces as well? Is it hopeless to find "security" in tall buildings or powerful personalities?

Report From The Finish Line

To be announced tomorrow morning on WEGL (the middle school announcements):

The cross country team cleaned up yesterday at the CCD Invitational.

Karah and Erin got 18th and 19th places for the girls team, while Adrienne ran her heart out to finish 6th. Brooke took home a bronze medal, coming in 3rd out of over 60 runners. Overall, the girls came in third place out of 8 teams, mostly because of Lauren, who inspired us all by finishing her race even though she was injured.

The boys team rocked too. Tad, Scott, Jake, and Mike turned in very strong times, while Chase finished 33rd out of more than 70 boy runners. Joel finished 21st, Jeff got 17th, and A.J. placed 12th. Kyle crossed the line 6th and Austin finished in 4th place, leading the boys� team to 1st place out of 8 teams. You can check out their championship trophy in the computer lab.

Great job to both the girls and boys cross country teams!

*Last names have been removed for confidentiality

It's Broke, No Joke!

These past few weeks of long workdays and late nights, shifting between classes and tech support and apple and cross country practice and my home have been taking their toll. My back is one giant knot, accentuated by hills and valleys that would make Hobbiton jealous.

So I asked the school nurse about it yesterday and she pointed me to a fellow teacher who has a good chiropractor down in eastgate (thanks, Gina!). Luckily, my insurance plan allows me to get chiropractic help with a nominal copay. The wait wasn't too bad, and even though it was pretty far away, I was really satisfied with the care I got. Preliminary tests and xrays, 10 minutes of theraputic massage (by a machine), and a manual adjustment by the good doc ... all in all it was a good deal. Mmm.

I found, however, that my tailbone is pretty messed up. I guess that at one point in my life I fell and broke it, kinda scrunching it up into my lower spine (I don't remember this, it's just what the doc showed me on the xray). It's not something that causes major problems (not in my opinion, at least), but it could explain a few things (like my posture and current condition). As a result, my legs are different lengths (from rotated hips) and my lower left back and upper right back are freaking out.

I had a similar thing happen in my hand. In junior high or high school, I got a huge thorn stuck in my finger so I went to get it removed. The doctor's xray, however, revealed that I had broken every finger on my hand at one point or another. Huh? That was news to me! I guess all of those "stubs" I had when I was little really were more serious than my parents thought! :)

Needless to say, I'll be back Thursday for a checkup and re-adjustment. I'll be fine in a couple of days, once the dust settles and I have a chance to relax, but until then I'd better be a little more careful when I sit down. Or perhaps I'd just better avoid slip and slides for awhile.

The Power Puff Girls

I Might Be Famous.

Today I was casually surfing around on WIT when I discovered that he has created an award called Blogger of the Month. I did a double-take, however, when I saw that he had given this award to me this month. Huh?

Yes, it's true, a week ago I was awarded my first online award ever. And I didn't even know it (whoops). It's strangely satisfying, simply because I've avoided the usual route of getting "awards" for your website. In other words, I haven't gone to awards sites and "signed up" for an award or simply stolen the graphic for my website. It cracks me up how many webmasters have submitted their personal information for the spam-harvesters just so they can get an "award-winning" website. :)

So yeah ... thanks, Christopher. I appreciate your kind words and your interest in my humble little corner of the web. Onward and upward, I say!

The Tower of Multibabel

Carl Tashian has created an interesting site that translates any text into multiple languages and back into English, showing how dramatically the meaning and message can be lost in translations. It's like the old "telephone" game ... but it really gets interesting when you think about Bible translation. For instance, check out John 3:16:

Original English Text:
For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son that whomever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

Translated to Japanese and back:
So, because some believes him he passes that should die eternal life even if the son who is born the world where it gives simply because of the God which is loved.

Translated to Chinese and back:
So, because some believe his him since the son to be is born the world through to be supposed the dead eternal life it simply for because God's place which loves.

Translated to Korean and back:
The son will connect inherent is it break and hazard from the world-wide first which it assumes until end loves the life which is eternal dies in because the what kind of his thing that in order to believe, is like this because shoes place which is.

Translated to French and back:
The son will connect inherent is him cut and risk from the very start world which it assumes until the end likes the life which is the eternal matrices inside because which kind of its thing which in order to believe, is as this because the place of shoes which is.

Translated to German and back:
The son closes associated is it cut and risked from the initial world, which likes it to the end the life assumes, which the eternal matrix inside because is, which kind of its thing of believing for because the place of the shoes is as this, which is.

Translated to Italian and back:
The son closes connected is it has cut and risked from the world he begins them, than he appreciate it to the extremity that the life presupposes, than the inner part eternal of the table because he is, than kind of relative thing to believe for because the place of the ice-skates he is like this, that he is.

Translated to Portuguese and back:
The son closes itself connected is it cut and risky of the world that them starts, of that he appreciates to the extremity that the life presupposes, of that the eternal internal part of the table because it is, of that type of the relative thing to believe for because the place of the ice-skids it is as this, that it is.

Translated to Spanish and back:
The son closes itself connected is he cut and ventured of the world for which beginning, of that he appreciates to the extremity that the life estimates, of that the eternal internal part of the table because it is, of that type of the relative thing to think because the place of the ice-slides he is like this, that is.

Hmmm ... so much for Revelation 22:18-19, eh?

Ficklatics

Today I was looking forward to spending my afternoon at home, watching the Browns game and finishing a few miscellaneous tasks. My dream, however, was interrupted by the realization that the Bengals must've actually sold out their opening day game. It's on television ... therefore, my beloved Browns are not. Bummer.

I'm glad I'm not a Cincinnati fan. It's only the second quarter in their first game, and they're already booing their team, loudly. Sure, they're getting beat soundly by the Broncos, but there's only a 14 point lead at the moment. Nope, those fans are just fickle. I wonder if they're still classified as "fans" (fanatics)?

Yep, I'm gonna watch WarGames instead.

Just Clowning Around.

Groaners

I used to be a layout artist for the Miami Student, a wonderful college newspaper. I did the middle color section (I forget the name) and often the front page as well. Part of my job, then, was to proofread and edit the stories while coming up with headlines. I also got to hang out with the infamous Charlie Zimkus.

Perhaps that explains my fascination (and critical stance) with newspapers ... anyone who knows me well knows that I'll gladly rip apart the New York Times while sitting and staring at the Dayton Daily News or USA Today.

Something like this really entertains me. It's a list of 100 "groaners," or overused and inappropriate clich�s that newspapers and magazines print. If you're like me you'll enjoy reading through some of these.

It's even funnier how some of these clich�s have actually entered into common language in the states. We say them when we want to sound creative ... oh, the irony.

Mmm. G5.

If you haven't yet touched a G5, you should. It's an incredible work of engineering and artistry. I won't go into the juicy details, but let's just say that it's the next major step in personal computing. 64-bit processing, 8 gigs of 400 MHz RAM, dual independant 1 gig frontside buses, AGP 8x Pro, optical audio in/out, four thermal zones with independent fans, and some beautifully molded anodized aluminum. One of my fellow teachers just got hers yesterday, enciting my jealousy.

Or maybe I'll just cluster 1100 of them together to build one of the world's fastest supercomputers. Hmm ...

P.S.

Sorry the comments aren't working. Hossein is all over that one. He's a good guy, he deserves a Labor Day break, so let's cut him some slack.

Don't you agree? Any comments?

Update (09.03): Hossein had to order a new server and have it shipped to a remote location to get the comments (YACCS) up and working again. What a great guy. He reports that the comments should be up and working again next Monday night. Thanks for your patience, everyone.

Now That's A Rock Bed.