Before you freak out over mad cow, read this doctor's take on the whole thing.

And by all means ... don't swallow the blue pill.

A week ago I made an experimental post ... I spelled "Saddam Hussein" wrong a whole bunch of ways, knowing that search engines would pick up on it and lead people here. No, I wasn't trying to "get more hits" ... if I wanted to increase my regular readership I wouldn't aim for surfers with bad spelling (I get enough visitors that were searching for "wedding vowels" already). I was simply testing two things ...

1. The ignorance of people trying to search the Internet
2. How easy it is to manipulate Google and friends

I pretty much got what I expected ... over 100 different searches (repeats eliminated) that led people here. Not only were they spelling it wrong ... they were usually using the wrong search engine for the results they wanted (do people know that news engines and photo engines exist?). Moreover, they all clicked on "webeldotnet" even though it was pretty clear from the description in their search results that I didn't have what they were looking for. Are people really that ignorant?

Yep. Here are their searches, for your entertainment.

Searches For Saddam
pics of saddem
sadom husain
new seddam hussein news
sadam hussain
saddom husain photos when found
Sadam Housain
SEDAM HUSAIN
saddom
hussane
sodam
Sadam Houssaine
saddem
Sadam Husain arrested
sadam arrested
PHOTOS DE SADAM HOUSSAIN
SADAM HUSAIN
sadamhusain
photos de seddam
sadam hoesein pictures
news Sadam husain
jokes on Saddam Hussian
real sadam photos
sadem hussian
sadam hosein
make fun of saddom
sadamm
saddem hussain
Sadom Hussain
Sadame Husaine
sadam husan
sadam huseim
sadam husane
song for saddam huseim
saddam husane
saddam hussian song
saddam hussan rap song
saddem husain
Sadam Husane
sadam hosein
sadam hoesein
sadam hussan
the life of seddam
news about Sadam Husain
sadamn husan
sedam husain jokes
funny photos sadam hussan
King Sadom Husain
SADDEM HUSEIN
sadom
sadam hosein
pictures of sadam hussien
Sadam Husan
photos saddam heusein
jokes on sadom
KILL SADOM GAMES
saddam houssein latest photos
videos Saddam Hoesein
Sadam Hussin photos
saddom pictures from cnn
sadam eat mars
jokes on sadam hussien
sadam hussin
Sodam Hussane jokes
sadam husain
Sadam Hussian
sadam hussein photos
news on Saddam Heusein
sadame housain
Fake Sadam Husein
sadam husan
hussane
sadam hussein pics
sadam husane
pictures the arrest of sadam hussien
sadam husan
SADDOM
sadam hussan
sadam hussian
sadam hussane
sedam houssein+photos
sadamm hussein funny videos
SADAM HUSSIEN FUNNY JOKES
SADDAM HUSEIM PHOTOS
NEWS ON SADAM HUSSANE
sadam hussin
sadem Hussein funny
Saddam Housane talking
www.news on Saddom
sadam hosein
sadom husain
news about Sedam Husain
photos of sadam hussain
sadom
sadem houssein
sadem husein
sadam hussin

Ok, so it wasn't that entertaining. I'm sure I'll get plenty more over the next few weeks, but I won't bother to keep track of them any more (unless if a suprising pattern emerges).

I might as well take this opportunity to post last weeks' Winners and Whiners, not including common repeats and all the Saddam searches.

Winners
What is the average airspeed of a swallow?
lance webel
sarah sears paul webel
webL lance
Own mars yemen
Reini Webel
dead ringer-idiom
dunk tank, teachers
paul webel
webel
lance
webelog
"niv on cd"
webels
Creation, Mark Killian

Whiners
free mp3 and "The Grinch" called, "You're a Mean One Mr. Grinch!" and mp3
corage of email contact of rings in america
santaclaus photos
dunk tank photo
wedding vowels
sadam eat mars
Oscar the Grouch Expressions
beschka yugoslavia

Why can we sit around and watch people kill each other for two hours during a movie, while one scene that depicts sex or nudity deeply bothers us (we look away, fast-forward, etc.)?

Am I the only one that notices a twisted imbalance in these contrived rules-of-conscience?

Yesterday morning I went to church with my parents at Vesper Lake Bible Fellowship. We had planned to have dinner at 1pm, so I decided to run home after the service and pack up my things (I'd be leaving for Cincinnati later in the day). On my way out of the parking lot, however, I was flagged down by a man who was standing in front of the church.

The man, who was dressed nicely and accompanied by his two young sons (8 and 9 years old), told me that he needed a ride down the road, so I invited him into my car. I tried to ask where he needed to go, but the man was visibly flustered, trying to figure out what he needed. After a few seconds he asked me to turn some music on so his boys couldn't hear what he was about to tell me. Turns out that his father was having surgury and he needed to get up to Cleveland ASAP.

He said that another pastor had dropped him off at our church, and that he had just gone in and talked to Steve, our pastor. Steve said that he could take him up the road and buy him a ticket with a credit card, but the man was very bothered by the fact that Steve couldn't give him any cash or help him out more. "Can't a brother just get some help nowadays?" he asked. It bothered me ... here I was, a visitor to the church, and I was the one giving the dude a ride. Hmmm.

At first he was asking me to go to a catholic church up the road, but a mile down the road he hastily asked me to stop into another church on the way (jehovah's witness, I think). As he went in to ask for directions, I took the chance to talk to the two boys. Strangely, I couldn't get any information out of them. When I asked how many siblings they had, they couldn't figure it out. One claimed 5, the other 11, then they both eventually settled on 13. Either their parents were married too many times, or these boys never took no 'rithmatic.

When the father returned, he told me to get on 77 north to go "about 10 minutes up the road." Then he told me that the church we were just at had given him $40 of the $60 he needed to get up to Cleveland. After a few miles, I asked him what exit he needed ... turns out he wanted Copley Road ... so I had to turn the car around and drive 20 minutes the other way. No biggie, it was actually in the direction of my lunchdate with my fam.

As you can imagine, I started getting a little suspicious. A random assortment of churches and pastors helping this dude, the fact that I took him further south instead of nearer to his father, the general lack of details that I could get, the fact that he was asking for cash ... I think that ambiguity (his) and flexibility (mine) aren't always best-of-friends. But I still didn't see much hurt in giving the guy a ride, even if it meant it was going to push my own schedule back. After some intricate directions, I dropped them all off at his "father's house" in downtown Akron. I also gave him some dough to cover his needs.

Throughout the day I thought about the situation a lot ... it (and the fact that I got lost afterwards) made me 40 minutes late for lunch with my family, and it caused Rachel, Amber, Maria, and I to depart for home late as well. I live a chaotic life, but I absolutely detest dragging other people through the insanity. I hated the fact that their afternoon was dulled and delayed by my decisions.

But it's not very often that you get such a blunt chance to help a stranger in need. My only reasons to say "no" would have been arrogance or selfishness. And I've been blessed with a great car (one of my only true material possessions) that I'm happy to share whenever it's needed. But something still lingered ... I knew there was a reason for that experience but it just seemed like half of a story. Something was unfinished, but I couldn't put my finger on it.

...

After lunch and a visit to my good friend Kevin, Maria and I headed back to Cincinnati. It was a rather uneventful trip most of the way, some good conversation and such. But when we hit Dayton we had a little problem ... Louie (my car) ran out of gas. Yep, we were stranded in the middle of nowhere at about 10pm, shortly after I had told her some stories about how I had used to try to run out but had never succeeded.

Rather than call roadside assistance (which probably would have been smarter), we decided to walk to the next exit to get some gas. Rarely have two miles seemed to take so long ... personally I didn't mind it, but I could tell that Maria wasn't exactly having the time of her life walking beside the highway in the dark with trash under each step and semis whizzing by at 70mph.

I didn't realize the irony until we had safely arrived at Exit 43 and purchased some snacks and gasoline ... here we were, sitting outside the bp station waiting for a random stranger to give us a lift back to our vehicle, when just earlier today God had placed me in a position to help another random stranger. The roles were reversed, the needs internalized, the perspective humbled. I had wondered why we live with such un-dependence, so God forced me to wait there helplessly. He framed my day with experiences, just like bookends.

Great teachers have the hallmark ability to take everyday situations and flip them upside-down, calling into question what was previously overlooked. Such a learning experience tends to evoke change, whether the student likes it or not. And God is the master of this ... He has a tendency to mess with us through circumstances.

It wasn't long before a man with an old beat-up car showed up and agreed to give us a ride. He said that we were the only people aside from him to have been in that car in the last five years (it had 350,000 miles on it). He seemed desperately lonely ... and I couldn't help but wonder if God was orchestrating something similar in his life, framing that man's day with bookends of interdependence. How would he be blessed for his generosity? Is God always messing with people like this?

Absolutely. I'll bet He's teaching you something right now.

My grandfather, Jakob Webel, was one of 13 kids. His only living sibling, Magda Webel, just passed away on Christmas Eve. She was the last of my grandfather's generation, living to be 99 years old. In the photo below (taken in 1960), she's the third from the right (my grandfather is the second from the right).



Here is the complete Webel family in birth order, for the record:
1. Katarina Webel Salay, 6/18/93 - 9/24/65 (72)
2. Elizabeth Webel Keiper, 3/16/96 - 6/22/72 (76)
3. Magdalena Webel, 7/19/98 (3 mo)
4. Kristina Webel Pfiefer, 10/10/00 - 7/31/79 (78)
5. Maria Webel Spengler, 8/26/02 - 9/28/39 (37)
6. Magda Webel, 10/24/04 - 12/24/03 (99)
7. Karl Webel, 11/17/05 - 3/5/78 (72)
8. Jakob Webel, 1/28/08 - 11/15/89 (81)
9. John Webel, 3/11/10 - 10/16/98 (88)
10. Rosalie Webel Pfister, 5/29/12 - 2/27/94 (81)
11. Peter Webel, 6/10/14 (3 mo)
12. Sophie Webel, 10/4/15 - 6/14/37 (21)
13. Julia Webel, 5/13/17 (3 mo)

Jakob had 13 kids of his own. One of them, Adolf (my father), married a girl named Linda Abraham. His brother, Reini, married Linda's sister. Reini went on to have 10 children of his own (these are my double cousins). The oldest of these children, Paul, had a son named Paul Jr. He's getting married tomorrow (to one of my best friends from college).

It's sobering to think about the passing of generations ... truly, this life we live is fleeting and ultimately meaningless. But there's a depth to ancestry. Even though I never met my great-aunt Magda, I know that she carried a piece of me to the grave. But such are the seasons of life. How appropriate, then, is the Nichole Nordeman song that Rebekah Bowling will be singing at the service tomorrow:

Every Season
by Nichole Nordeman

Every evening sky, an invitation
to trace the patterned stars.
And early in July, a celebration
for freedom that is ours.
And I notice you in children's games,
In those who watch them from the shade.
Every drop of sun is full of fun and wonder ...
You are summer.

And even when the trees have just surrendered
to the harvest time.
Forfeiting their leaves in late September
and sending us inside.
Still I notice you when change begins
And I am braced for colder winds.
I will offer thanks for what has been and what's to come ...
You are autumn.

And everything in time, and under heaven
finally falls asleep
Wrapped in blankets white, all creation
shivers underneath
And still I notice you when branches crack
And in my breath on frosted glass.
Even now in death you open doors for life to enter ...
You are winter.

And everything that new has bravely surfaced,
teaching us to breathe.
And what was frozen through is newly purposed,
turning all things green.
So it is with you, and how you make me new
With every season's change.
And so it will be as you are recreating me ...
Summer ... autumn ... winter ... spring.

And speaking of sobering, I wish I could tell you what the guys (the Good 'Ol Boys, you might say) did after the rehearsal dinner tonight. But I'll have to keep it classified. If you really wanna know, ask Paul ... he nose what's up.

I just found an old guestbook that's still hanging around out there in cyberspace. This was active during my junior year at Miami (before my website even became a blog). How many of those people I had forgotten about!

What an amazing commercial!

[via adage & MeFi]

CNN is reporting that Nasa is being sued for trespassing by three men from Yemen who claim that they own Mars. Apparently they inherited the red planet from their ancestors 3,000 years ago, and they have the paperwork to prove it.

As of 3:06pm EST 23 November 2003, I lay claim to Neptune. It's mine ... watch out, kids.

Dude ... ALF is back.

• Al Gore's son was arrested for driving with his headlights off. Oh, and for that pot he was smoking too. Not a bad followup to his "97 in a 55mph zone" case in 2000 (where the charges were dropped). Those Harvard kids, I tell ya.


• Even Burger King is in the holiday spirit. And please, no comments about making fun of people ... it's simply a funny song, especially to someone like me who's working retail for 9 hours today.


• In case if you were wondering, it's still offensive for a white guy to act black.


• Fishermen in Maine are having way too much fun.


• Apparantly you can't say "Merry Christmas" to sick children in this British hospital.


• American troops are torturing prisoners ... with rap music.


• This judge notes that juries are just-er during tax season than they are during the holidays. I wonder why.

If you just reached this website while searching for information, news, pictures, photos, stories, articles, jokes, or history on Saddam Hussein, you probably spelled his name wrong. Click here to find current information about Saddam Hussein.

Fyi, these spellings are wrong: Soddam Hoosain, Saddom Hoosain, Sadam Hoosain, Saddem Hoosain, Sodem Hoosain, Saddem Hoosain, Soddem Hoosain, Sodam Hoosain, Soddom Hoosain, Sodom Hoosain, Sadem Hoosain, sadom Hoosain, Sedom Hoosain, Seddom Hoosain, Seddam Hoosain, Seddem Hoosain, Sedem Hoosain, Sedam Hoosain, Soddam Hoosane, Saddom Hoosane, Sadam Hoosane, Saddem Hoosane, Sodem Hoosane, Saddem Hoosane, Soddem Hoosane, Sodam Hoosane, Soddom Hoosane, Sodom Hoosane, Sadem Hoosane, sadom Hoosane, Sedom Hoosane, Seddom Hoosane, Seddam Hoosane, Seddem Hoosane, Sedem Hoosane, Sedam Hoosane, Soddam Housane, Saddom Housane, Sadam Housane, Saddem Housane, Sodem Housane, Saddem Housane, Soddem Housane, Sodam Housane, Soddom Housane, Sodom Housane, Sadem Housane, sadom Housane, Sedom Housane, Seddom Housane, Seddam Housane, Seddem Housane, Sedem Housane, Sedam Housane, Soddam Housain, Saddom Housain, Sadam Housain, Saddem Housain, Sodem Housain, Saddem Housain, Soddem Housain, sadam, sadam heusein, sadam hoesein, sadam hoessein, sadam hosein, sadam hossein, sadam housain, sadam housein, sadam houssein, sadam huessien, sadam huisain, sadam huisan, sadam huissen, sadam husain, sadam husaine, sadam husan, sadam husane, sadam huseim, sadam husein, sadam husien, sadam hussain, sadam hussan, sadam hussane, sadam hussein, sadam hussian, sadam hussien, sadam hussin, sadame, sadamhusain, sadamm, sadamm husein, sadamm hussain, sadamm hussein, sadamn, Sodam Housain, Soddom Housain, Sodom Housain, Sadem Housain, sadom Housain, Sedom Housain, Seddom Housain, Seddam Housain, Seddem Housain, Sedem Housain, Sedam Housain, Soddam Hoossain, Saddom Hoossain, Sadam Hoossain, Saddem Hoossain, Sodem Hoossain, Saddem Hoossain, Soddem Hoossain, Sodam Hoossain, Soddom Hoossain, Sodom Hoossain, Sadem Hoossain, sadom Hoossain, Sedom Hoossain, Seddom Hoossain, Seddam Hoossain, Seddem Hoossain, Sedem Hoossain, Sedam Hoossain, Soddam Hoosan, Saddom Hoosan, Sadam Hoosan, Saddem Hoosan, Sodem Hoosan, Saddem Hoosan, Soddem Hoosan, Sodam Hoosan, Soddom Hoosan, Sodom Hoosan, Sadem Hoosan, sadom Hoosan, Sedom Hoosan, Seddom Hoosan, Seddam Hoosan, Seddem Hoosan, Sedem Hoosan, Sedam Hoosan, Soddam Hoossane, Saddom Hoossane, Sadam Hoossane, Saddem Hoossane, Sodem Hoossane, Saddem Hoossane, Soddem Hoossane, Sodam Hoossane, Soddom Hoossane, Sodom Hoossane, Sadem Hoossane, sadom Hoossane, Sedom Hoossane, Seddom Hoossane, Seddam Hoossane, Seddem Hoossane, Sedem Hoossane, Sedam Hoossane, Soddam Hoossaine, Saddom Hoossaine, Sadam Hoossaine, Saddem Hoossaine, Sodem Hoossaine, Saddem Hoossaine, Soddem Hoossaine, Sodam Hoossaine, Soddom Hoossaine, Sodom Hoossaine, Sadem Hoossaine, sadom Hoossaine, Sedom Hoossaine, Seddom Hoossaine, Seddam Hoossaine, Seddem Hoossaine, Sedem Hoossaine, Sedam Hoossaine, Soddam Housaine, Saddom Housaine, Sadam Housaine, Saddem Housaine, Sodem Housaine, Saddem Housaine, Soddem Housaine, Sodam Housaine, Soddom Housaine, Sodom Housaine, Sadem Housaine, sadom Housaine, Sedom Housaine, Seddom Housaine, Seddam Housaine, Seddem Housaine, Sedem Housaine, Sedam Housaine, Soddam Houssane, Saddom Houssane, Sadam Houssane, Saddem Houssane, Sodem Houssane, Saddem Houssane, Soddem Houssane, Sodam Houssane, Soddom Houssane, Sodom Houssane, Sadem Houssane, sadom Houssane, Sedom Houssane, Seddom Houssane, Seddam Houssane, Seddem Houssane, Sedem Houssane, Sedam Houssane, Soddam Houssaine, Saddom Houssaine, Sadam Houssaine, Saddem Houssaine, Sodem Houssaine, Saddem Houssaine, Soddem Houssaine, Sodam Houssaine, Soddom Houssaine, Sodom Houssaine, Sadem Houssaine, sadom Houssaine, Sedom Houssaine, Seddom Houssaine, Seddam Houssaine, Seddem Houssaine, Sedem Houssaine, Sedam Houssaine, Soddam Houssain, Saddom Houssain, Sadam Houssain, Saddem Houssain, Sodem Houssain, Saddem Houssain, Soddem Houssain, Sodam Houssain, Soddom Houssain, Sodom Houssain, Sadem Houssain, sadom Houssain, Sedom Houssain, Seddom Houssain, Seddam Houssain, Seddem Houssain, Sedem Houssain, Sedam Houssain, Soddam Husane, Saddom Husane, Sadam Husane, Saddem Husane, Sodem Husane, Saddem Husane, Soddem Husane, Sodam Husane, Soddom Husane, Sodom Husane, Sadem Husane, sadom Husane, Sedom Husane, Seddom Husane, Seddam Husane, Seddem Husane, Sedem Husane, Sedam Husane, Soddam Husain, Saddom Husain, Sadam Husain, Saddem Husain, Sodem Husain, Saddem Husain, Soddem Husain, Sodam Husain, Soddom Husain, Sodom Husain, Sadem Husain, sadom Husain, Sedom Husain, Seddom Husain, Seddam Husain, Seddem Husain, Sedem Husain, Sedam Husain, Soddam Hussaine, Saddom Hussaine, Sadam Hussaine, Saddem Hussaine, Sodem Hussaine, Saddem Hussaine, Soddem Hussaine, Sodam Hussaine, Soddom Hussaine, Sodom Hussaine, Sadem Hussaine, sadom Hussaine, Sedom Hussaine, Seddom Hussaine, Seddam Hussaine, Seddem Hussaine, Sedem Hussaine, Sedam Hussaine, Soddam Hussane, Saddom Hussane, Sadam Hussane, Saddem Hussane, Sodem Hussane, Saddem Hussane, Soddem Hussane, Sodam Hussane, Soddom Hussane, Sodom Hussane, Sadem Hussane, sadom Hussane, Sedom Hussane, Seddom Hussane, Seddam Hussane, Seddem Hussane, Sedem Hussane, Sedam Hussane, Soddam Hussain, Saddom Hussain, Sadam Hussain, Saddem Hussain, Sodem Hussain, Saddem Hussain, Soddem Hussain, Sodam Hussain, Soddom Hussain, Sodom Hussain, Sadem Hussain, sadom Hussain, Sedom Hussain, Seddom Hussain, Seddam Hussain, Seddem Hussain, Sedem Hussain, Sedam Hussain, Soddam Husaine, Saddom Husaine, Sadam Husaine, Saddem Husaine, Sodem Husaine, Saddem Husaine, Soddem Husaine, Sodam Husaine, Soddom Husaine, Sodom Husaine, Sadem Husaine, sadom Husaine, Sedom Husaine, Seddom Husaine, Seddam Husaine, Seddem Husaine, Sedem Husaine, and Sedam Husaine.

Once again it's time to post the search results that have brought people to webeldotnet. This week was interesting ... somehow MSN had this website ranked in the top 30 when users searched for "Santa" (I thought my post was controversial, but not that much so). Some other people came here looking for "real santaclaus photos" (not those fake ones), and plenty of websurfers came here looking for "wedding vowels." Just don't ask me what a "google crack birthday card" is or how a search for "milk pumping" led here. Whew.

Winners
Geneta Codner
lance webel
Dead Ringer-Idiom
webel
Sarah Pechan
Austin Webel

Could-be Winners
funny ways to inspire a coworker
santa
jawad amir and msn
mark killian + music
weird holiday traditions
GINGHAS KAHN
Christian Webel
CHRISTMAS PRANK ON PRINCIPAL
santaclaus webcam

Whiners
pics from the oktoberfest bucyrus ohio
milk pumping
tonge rings
Noxema, correct way to use
merry christmas mpg card
real santaclaus photos
african wedding vowels
google crack birthday card
weddin
in the dunk tank
scrooge bah humbug sweatshirts
santaclaus photos
welding+santaclaus
photos of santaclaus
your a mean one mr grinch .mp3
cheerleading Visalia , ca (kids)
lil sunday church in the valley pics
Francis P. Church mp3
inflated structure plans
ideas for wedding vowels

Every now and then a new topic comes up in a comment from an unrelated post. The following is an issue Christine raised earlier this week, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).

Hey Lance, have you seen all those commercials about ADHD? What are your thoughts on ADHD? Seems like every kid has "it" these days ... humm, I wonder why? Perhaps it's because we are supposed to be extremely active as children!? Kids these days just aren't getting out enough and just plain running and playing. Too many kids are hooked up to their game cubes, I say. Me included. Children are meant to be active but they lock themselves inside and then when their bodies can't take this larthargic state and they can't pay attention ... they call that ADHD and put them on drugs! Try just making them run outside for at least a hour every day and see if that helps! It seems that every kid these days has ADHD! Don't get me wrong, I am sure there are children out there that really do have problems paying attention, but I highly doubt that every child on those drugs really has a problem that playing out side will not solve! What are your thoughts or had you not thought about it? I would love to hear what others feel about it...

I actually do have a lot of thoughts on ADHD. As you may know, my bachelor's degree is in speech pathology and audiology ... while in college, I studied ADHD and watched how it is diagnosed. I'll be brief.

First, ADD and ADHD are not medical conditions, diseases, or disorders ... there is nothing biological or chemical connecting cases of ADD and ADHD. They are syndromes. A syndrome is merely a collection of symptoms, a whole bunch of descriptions of the person's behavior or situation. In other words, ADD and ADHD are "diagnosed" when a medical professional describes a kid as being a hyper child. That's it.

To prescribe medicine for a symptom, in my mind, is not treating the root of the issue. It's like taking a ton of Tylenol for a headache instead of eliminating the cause of that headache in the first place. But isn't that what we do to solve our problems? We're too lazy and naive and impatient to deal with pain and annoyance. We take Tylenol.

I'm no expert, but I have been around kids all my life (I'm now regularly around about 1,000 every year). From my observation, the root of the issue is usually a combination of two factors. First, as you allude to in your comment, Christine, is the environment we place these kids in. These situations often make it extremely difficult for them to attend and conform. Just visit a school sometime and you'll be amazed at how many hours kids are forced to sit in chairs. This factor is complicated (or, as some would argue, caused), by the schizophrenic society we live in ... our whole culture is bombarded with fast-food thirty-second audio-visual learning. Hyperactivity and lack of attention are natural and healthy responses to this culture.

The second factor, which is rarely considered, is the type of relationships that we foster with children. If they have our respect and compassion, there are few children that do not have the ability to pay attention (even those labeled as ADHD). We're just not patient enough with them and we're too concerned with results. There's no doubt we want cookie-cutter kids in our culture.

Sadly, there's no easy solution. Some of the kids that take medication for ADHD definitely need it if we are going to require them to survive, learn, and interact in such a structured world. Yes, it helps them. But is it helping them in the right way?

Do people in Britain walk on the left side of hallways and stairs?

I remember being so excited about the first day of school that I couldn't go to sleep.

Tonight I cannot fall asleep because I'm so excited that tomorrow is the last day of school.

Talk about a guy who's making a difference. You go, Bob.

I did a stupid thing today. I decided to use my iBook while taking a bath. I didn't really drip water into it, but I think the humidity in the bathroom might have condensed somewhere in the circuitry, messing up the keyboard and trackpad. Sure, I've got a USB keyboard and mouse (so it works great as a desktop machine), but I'm gonna have to get it fixed.

This should be interesting ... I have a Circuit City warranty on it that should cover it, but that's a notoriously bad service (especially with support on Apple products). The good thing? They're so clueless that they usually end up replacing the machine with a brand new one. The bad thing? It usually takes a couple of months (it's no AppleCare).

Bummer.

A fellow teacher just sent me this quote as a Christmas present. The quote is from his former professor, the late Dr. Cliff Shimmels.

As a species, adolescents live by their own code of conduct. The rules include:

1. Never admit that you like your teacher.
2. Never praise an adult for a job well done.

A man once wrote a book about high school teaching and named it Nine Hundred Performances a Year. What he could have added was that those were nine hundred performances without any applause. Have you ever noticed that no matter how well you teach, nobody ever claps?

Needless to say, there just aren't too many extrinsic rewards in the teaching profession. You don't get rich; you don't get famous; you don't even get good grades; and you don't get applause. To keep your sanity and to keep growing professionally, you have to learn to hear the silent accolades.

Those come quietly and often masked. You have to develop a specially trained ear to hear them.

• The bell rings and some student says, "Already?"


• A student hangs around your desk after class for a few private moments. With the traffic in the hall and the distance to travel in five minutes which will produce a burning compulsion to get started, this is a sign of significant approval.


• In middle school, students may come up to you in the hall or at the game, stop for a moment, giggle, then go on about their way. Don't be shocked. This is their way of saying, "I really appreciate you and all you are doing for me, but I'm too shy to put that in real words."


• A student finishes his homework, brings it up to your desk and places it on top of the pile. That is a high approval rating. That student respects you and wants your judgment on that paper.


• They ask you to sponsor their club or event.


• They ask if they can eat lunch in your room.


• A student or a group will stop by your room after school to ask a question about the homework or procedure or life in general.


• They ask you to come to the game and look for them in the band or in the cheerleading line or on the field.


• They quiet down when the principal looks in the window. Of course, this is a sign of respect for the principal, but it is also a sign of support for you. They don't want you to look bad in front of your authorities.


• You meet a parent in the store, and the parent has heard of you. That could well be the biggest compliment you will ever receive.

The applause is thunderous, but you have to develop the ear to hear it.

I just had another parent call me about Santa. It was a non-conversation ... he couldn't seem to figure out what he wanted. An apology? Justification? An argument? After a couple of awkward minutes I simply described my lesson as gently and succinctly as possible. He didn't seem satisfied.

I can't figure it out. It just doesn't make any sense to me. Perhaps it never will.

This is the boy I bought my hand drum from in Essaouira last spring. I remember watching him finish making it (we were on our way out of town) then listening to a demonstration of how good it sounded (that boy could play). I haggled a little on the price, then realized that I was being stingy over a few dollars just because I could. Funny how that happens.

It's been cracking me up lately how freaked out people are about the flu. When I grew up, having the flu just meant that you lied in bed for a couple of days with a tupperware, waiting until you were well enough to go back to life. Instantaneously awful but no big deal in the long run. Now it's an "epidemic," making news headlines and causing parents and teachers to go to drastic measures (don't even ask what we had to do here at school).

In the polio epidemic in the first half of the 20th century, rich kids with cleaner homes (and weaker immune systems) died while poor children (sometimes on the street) in dirty conditions survived. As infants, they were simply exposed to antibodies, making them immune later on.

Here are a couple clues: Getting sick makes you stronger. To get water hot enough to kill "germs" it needs to be almost boiling, hot enough for very severe burns (so why this myth about washing with hot water?). Antibacterial agents do not kill the truly harmful bacteria, they kill little harmless benign ones. Using that Purell stuff just leaves dead bacteria smashed all over your hands. We made up the word "germs" ... we might as well say "The Boogie Man is out to get you." We're so afraid of suffering and pain that we can't just let kids (and adults) get sick.

In reality, much of the hype is simply a ploy to get us to spend more money on hygeine and cleaning products ... I've been reading a book lately from Annie called The Culture of Fear that talks about how our fear of crime, black men, germs, the economy, and even the apocalypse simply drives consumerism (we're suckers). It's referenced in Bowling For Columbine as well (both the book and the movie are worth checking out).

Here are three articles from WIRED that touch on the subject. Oh, and The Practical Hippie (don't ask me) has a good list of links too. There are probably plenty more out there (like this and this), but I just don't have time to do in-depth web searching today. I'm busy shopping for toys and pet supplies.

Here are the weekly roundups of search results. How'd they fare? I think my favorites are "church wedding vowels" and "pictures of the person who invented the toothbrush."

Winners (hey ... they found it!)
Christmas sayings for church signs and marquees
what color is coca-cola if coloring wasn't added
lance webel
This Holiday Life Scott Anderson
CHURCH SIGN GENERATOR

Weaselers (possibly successful)
santaclaus photos
robbie neidlinger
message board "this holiday life"
punny bumper stickers
christian fight against punk rock
Yes, Virginia +"simplified version"

Whiners (what were they thinking?)
christian wedding vowels
pictures of the person who invented the toothbrush
powerpoint presentations "christmas stories"
1000words fantasy lyrics
sesame street oscar the grouch sweatshirts
where can i find a dodgeball tournament in new jersey
santaclaus+webcam
why is buffalo wild wings called bw3's
www.tonge rings
mac specialist earns
george harrison live mpg
oscar the grouch watches
santaclaus photo
bah humbug etymology

It's been a little while since I've posted just about wazupime, and sometimes that's nice. Here goes, in no particular order.

I'm going to the Bengals/49ers game today with a whole bunch of teachers ... it should be a [freezing] blast ... then afterwards we're going to the principal's house for a staff Christmas party. Fun With Teachers ... not quite as thrilling as Fun With Robotic Dragonflies, Fun With Colored Flames, or Fun With Theological Legos, but entertaining nonetheless.

Last night I helped chaperone the middle school Christmas Dance ... it was interesting. This 8th grade class is rather tame ... on many occassions I was convinced they weren't having any fun, but I think I was wrong. The girls were all dolled up beautifully (they're gonna break a lot of hearts, especially the quiet ones) and the awkward social-pressures thing was in full gear. Highlights of the evening ... the DJ saying "Don't go anywhere" (like they had a choice) ... Mr. McCollum describing a gift (during the gift exchange) as "Here's a little girly thing" ... actually convincing several boys to do The Robot with me ... being shoved around by Big Andy during some mild mosh-like-behavior ... jumping in a huge pile of paper (kinda like a pile of leaves) during cleanup ... seeing that every girl had a dance during the last song (they deserved it) ... and the punch (it was good, probably spiked by Mrs. Anderson).

I've noticed that I've become increasingly fond of this triple period thing ... what's it called, English majors (an amper-san or something)? It just seems so ... so ... conversational.

Yes, it's cold here. Our first (as far as I can remember) significant snowfall is blanketing the ground and more flakes are casually dropping from the sky. It's not quite enough for amazing snow sculptures, but it's a start.

I'll be working at Apple every day from Friday through Tuesday this coming week ... a lot of hours, but it should be tolerable, as the holidays are usually quite busy. After that I'll head straight up to Akron to spend Christmas with my family. My sister's coming in from NJ and my bro already lives up there, so it should be a good time. Sarah Sears and my cousin Paul are getting hitched on the 27th (I think I'm ushing), then I'll head home on Sunday or Monday. I'll probably work a little more at Apple then and then hopefully go up to Columbus on the 31st for a New Year's shindig at Aaron's place with camp people.

After that I'm planning to bike across the United States with a ten-speed and a trusty water bottle. Then I'll move to a small European city and get a few menial jobs in hostels, markets, and the occasional flower shop. While preparing for my first marathon I'll meet a crazy dude with long curly hair and he'll convince me to go bridgejumping in England. I'll unexpectedly retire to a cozy existence for the next 3-5 years in the state penitentiary (really, officer, I thought it was legal!). Afterwards I'll probably return to CHCA to teach gym class and coach the chess team (as long as I can sign the contract before the background check makes it through).

Seriously, though, I've been thinking a lot about shaking my life up a bit. You may know that I actually considered moving to Africa this year but decided to stay because I felt that God was using me and growing me here in Cincinnati still. I feel that my learning curve has straightened significantly, that life is becoming a little predictable and very American. God's blessed me tremendously here and allowed me to bless others, but I'm becoming skeptical if this arrangement is really best for me at this juncture. Perhaps I just need a new classroom to learn in ... another culture, a different sphere of influence, a simpler purpose. Or maybe I need to simply shake up my life right here. :)

I know one thing for sure ... I need to get out of bed and go take a shower. And I'm hungry. Hasta banana.

All this and more at Word Oddities ...

Unprosperousness, sixteen letters long, is the longest word in which each letter occurs at least twice.

Strengths, nine letters long, is the longest word in the English language with only one vowel.

Ushers contains the most personal pronouns spelled consecutively within it: he, her, hers, she, and us, totaling five pronouns.

Rugged is a two syllable word that can be made one syllable by adding letters to it to make shrugged. Are is a one syllable word that can be made into a three syllable word by adding just one letter to make area.

Or you could just check out Dave's List of Words That Are Fun To Say:

Beelzebub
Paducah
Phlebotomist
Orthogonalization
Homogenized
Schnitzel
Juxtapostition

and my fav, which I memorized off shampoo bottles as a child: Methylchloroisothiazolinone

If you've made it this far and you're still interested (what a weirdo you must be), there's plenty more fun to be had at Fun With Words. Just don't go hurt anyone with that information, ok?

Here are a couple more great resources about how to approach the Santa/Christmas dilly-o. There are dozens of articles, reviews, and resources out there that are really helpful ... it's worth considering this stuff:

The Santa Question: How to separate fact from fiction - without ruining your kids' Christmas.

What to Do With Santa Claus: A pretty benign article with additional history and some good ideas.

Reclaiming Santa: Ed Butchart's year-round mission to recover the true spirit of St. Nicholas.

Making Christmas Meaningful for Preschoolers: An article with some wonderful suggestions for the littlest of tikes.

Celebrating Christmas at Home: A great collection of ideas of how families can celebrate Christ's birthday together.

Christmas As It Was Originally Celebrated: An article with a fascianting perspective on a teenage girl's scandalous illigitimate pregnancy and consequent exclusion from society (the girl is Mary).

The following links contain reactions to the claim that Santa Claus exists (see yesterday's post before reading this). Many of them contain content that I do not endorse (i.e. grown people using immature language) ... however I think these people's perspectives (or lack thereof) show how important this issue really is. Proceed with caution and the end in mind. And feel free to think whatever you want about me and these views ... I understand that most Americans have a big problem with the interception of their beloved jolly gift-giver. Bah, humbug.

"Yes, Virginia, There Is A Santa Claus"
-- Francis P. Church

"Dear Virginia, No There is No Santa Claus"
-- Greg Perkins

"There is no Santa Claus ... There is no authoritarian, dogmatic, paternalistic, personified, anthropomorphic, God the Father ..."
-- Imagine Freedom Online

"In the beginning, there was Man who created Santa in his own image."
-- Farzad Roohi (click here too) [immature language]

"Ok, I am a scrooge. I tell my physics students that there is no Santa Claus!"
-- Schoolteacher in Visalia, CA

"The school's principal had a real stern conversation with the teacher ... We would think that teachers would use better judgment."
-- Miramar Schools district spokesman Joe Donzelli on first grade teacher Geneta Codner

"For the rest of their lives these children will remember the person that robbed them of their innocence ... are you that much of a holiday hater that you have to spoil it for OTHER people's children ... You need to quit teaching now and get into a line of work where you can suck the souls from people all day long ..."
-- Turtle [immature language]

"Santa Claus was just a man, Santa Claus was just a man. Why was I lied to? It's so hard to understand ... Santa Claus was just a man, Santa Claus was just a man. Now I'm very mad, 'cause Santa Claus was really just my dad." [2.7mb mp3]
-- Calibretto 13

Earlier this week I was talking with some of my fifth and sixth grade classes about how bothered I am by America's intricate cover-up of the real meaning of Christmas (the incarnation of Jesus). We buy billions of dollars worth of stuff, celebrate meaningless and shallow traditions, and indoctrinate our children with myths about fat jolly men and flying mammals.

It especially bothers me how we teach our kids to believe things that aren't true. Take Santa, for example ... we don't just sing songs and tell stories about a "character in a book" or "holiday tradition" ... we actually make them believe that the whole Santa shebang is real. How, then, when we tell them about Jesus Christ and his amazing stories in scripture (and in people's lives today) are these very same children supposed to trust us? How are they supposed to understand that one unseen miraculous gift-giving man is a lie and the other miraculous gift-giving man is the most important Person they could ever know?

I've been taking a lot of flack for this from the kids ... several of them have been teasing me the past couple of days, taking every opportunity to call me "Santa Hater" and "Mr. Grinch." They think it's mean that I told them Santa isn't real and have no qualms about loudly opposing me in front of other students. Yes, that bothers me ... I grew up being teased all the time, it's the same tone of voice.

But the most disturbing thing of all happened during my lunch today. Our assistant principal escorted a man to my office who introduced himself as the father of one of my fifth grade girls. After she left, this father went on to explain that his daughter had learned that Santa is a myth during my class. She went home very upset, obviously causing her parents to likewise become angry. Thankfully, the father wasn't visiting me in anger, he merely wanted to communicate to me that he didn't think it was my place to be telling students what I told them. He also wanted to make sure that I didn't do the same thing to his younger daughter who would be coming up to the middle school later on.

I told him that I was sorry it had to be like this, but was careful not to regret my words or actions. I even asked when he had planned on telling his daughter (I resisted from using the words "the truth"), and he answered as if he had not yet thought of it ("probably this year"). We ended on a good note, and I respect the fact that he came directly to me (not to my superiors), but somehow I knew this wasn't resolved.

My first reaction to this whole thing was to simply laugh it off. How could a girl reach fifth grade and still believe in Santa? How could a set of parents, both with their doctorates, decide to leave her in the dark for this long? And how could I be blamed for doing the wrong thing? At least two teachers were in the room while I was talking to the kids, and they both later said that I was completely in-bounds during the talk. I even approached our assistant principal later on and asked if I did the right thing, and she couldn't believe the whole situation. She told me that we don't even allow students at the elementary school (where I'm told the mother is a teacher) to sing about or display images of Santa ... it's all about Christ. So I've been assured that I haven't done anything wrong professionally.

As the day has progressed, however, I've becoming increasingly more and more bothered by it. Not intellectually or logically, but emotionally. There's something deep within me that has felt dirty and wounded, and that kind of thing is hard for me. I'm not used to having a guilty conscience at all (I'm a pretty striaght-edged guy), but I literally feel like my heart is being torn today, like I've done a terrible thing and don't deserve to be seen. I feel like Chewie (our dog) looks after he's pooped on my bathroom floor.

On the way home from the annual Middle School Christmas Concert tonight I finally figured out what's wrong, what the root of this filthy feeling is. I feel betrayed. I know that I did the right thing by simply telling the Truth, but I feel like I've been set up for years and years by someone I don't even know to take the fall for a lie I didn't believe. And there's a little girl who feels betrayed right now because of this same lie. I feel that because of my action she may never trust me again ... that's a horrible feeling.

Where does this go? I don't know. Put some coal in my stocking, call me the grinch ... but I'm not the one who stole Christmas. These lies about santa, christmas trees, and holiday shopping are simply wolves in sheep's clothing ... they seem harmless and "positive" but are merely smokescreens to cover up the most radical idea ever to come to life ... God As Flesh. Our joy shouldn't come from a facade of shallow songs and red and green clothes ... we should be celebrating the fact that God chose to communicate his message of love through the living media of Jesus Christ. That should blow our minds and bring us to our knees.

And that, my friends, is Christ's Mass ... the holiday that my children will celebrate.

I am absolutely exhausted today.

I'm aware of the fact that many of you have a sick fascination with this website ... you keep returning, watching and reading my every keystroke, just maintaining your silence. Then you'll run into me in a random place and you'll let it slip that you read something about my life here. An incredibly awkward moment will ensue as I try not to burst out into laughter.

So let me officially communicate something to you ... that totally weirds me out. I know, it's my fault, but I'm still sketched by it. Perfect strangers will read these words later today and I'll end up meeting them a year from now. I kinda like it.

But be aware ... I might start messing with you. I'm considering slowly and methodically starting to blend the usual with fiction, allowing each of you to think (over the course of a few months, of course), that I quit teaching (because of maggots, the cookie incident, and that little prank I pulled), outwitted the cops, and moved to Sierra Leone (or maybe Thialand) to open a restaurant (with franchises in Iran).

Or maybe I already have fooled you into believing me. A teacher in Ohio ... how obtuse.

It's time for the weekly roundup of searches that brought people here (again, with "webel and bob" removed). Am I the only one that finds this entertaining?

Successful Searches
The Treasure of Pirate's Cove
funny Church Marquees
orbitron
toilet horseshoes
austin webel

Possibile Dead-ends
appliance direct infomercial
teacher dunk tank
though I walk through the valley of death
jobs in webel
oscar the grouch carried
www.suck my webel

What Were They Thinking?
apache junction high school online yearbook
Steve Surian
where do boogers get their color
Reptisun 5.0 marijuana
papp
Bucyrus, OH Bratwurst Festival Pictures '03
Cupid+Psyche+pics+Orual
pictures of people tonge rings
blue bird feathered character muppets
rent santaclaus in cleveland
how to make circus peanuts
when was mr bubble bath created
Saint Helens mpg
santaclaus webcam
oktoberfest toilet woman photo

I usually avoid those mass-market online quizzes, but I saw one at Sarah's blog that intrigued me ... Which Book of the Bible Are You? So I took the dive and did the quiz.

One of the questions threw me for a loop. It asked me what my mission was. To answer honestly, I had to put "To teach... to encourage... to tell it like it is." But that bothers me ... I would've rather put "To show others the grace I've been shown by God." I think loving people and passing on God's grace is a million times more important than teaching and encouraging ... my heart's desire is to be a compassionate person, not an influential one. But it's troubling to see that your mission, of all things, isn't focused where you think it should be.

On top of it all, here's the result it gave me:



I can't believe I'm being convicted by a fortune cookie. But I am.

Father ...

en-cour-age [via m-w]
Pronunciation: in-'k&r-ij, -'k&-rij, en-
Function: transitive verb
Inflected Form(s): -aged; -ag-ing
Etymology: Middle English encoragen, from Middle French encoragier, from Old French, from en- + corage courage
Date: 15th century
1 : to inspire with courage, spirit, or hope.

To inspire with courage. To put courage in someone. To see your friend, coworker, daughter, roommate, or student emboldened and courageous because you have placed something inside that person. To see evidence in the change and growth that person undergoes as a result of your words and actions. To see decisions being made that were unthinkable before you went out of your way to entice that boldness.

To put courage in someone.

To inspire with courage. To put courage in someone. To see your friend, coworker, daughter, roommate, or student emboldened and courageous because you have placed something inside that person. To see evidence in the change and growth that person undergoes as a result of your words and actions. To see decisions being made that were unthinkable before you went out of your way to entice that boldness.

To put courage in someone.
To put courage in someone.
To put courage in someone.

Campbells is donating cans to the hungry ... just go here and vote for your favorite NFL team, then they'll donate a can to the hungry. You can do it once per day until they reach 5,000,000 ... that's a lot of meals, dude.

Anybody wanna go have waffles with me tonight?

For those of you who "just can't get enough," I've installed a camera in my classroom. I had a similar thing thing going a year or two ago, but some paranoid people scared me with words like illegal, lawsuit, privacy, and gourd-sauce. After some pretty extensive research, however, I cannot find anything wrong or illegal about putting a webcam from my classroom online (as long as I don't display students' personal info). So BillyVision is making a triumphant return ...

The camera is installed inside a Big Mouth Billy Bass and connected to two devices. The first continuously records the feed and displays it on a large monitor in the corner of my lab (for security purposes). I can also monitor this feed at any time, just to make sure I'm aware of what's going on in there.

The second video feed uses a motion detector to snap a photo every 30 seconds when something is happening. It then puts the date and time on the photo (and the title) and automatically uploads that photo to the web. Here's the result:



You can view the 30 latest photos here. There's also a popup version and a simplified version at that page. Pretty sweet, eh?

Ever had the sudden urge to entrust your hard-earned money to a financial institution run by Nickelodean monkeys on crack? If so, Wow Banking is perfect for you. Those bright colors, spiffy animations, and bulging masses of orange slime really showcase an aura of professionalism and fiscal responsibility, don't they?

And I tell ya, this place has it all. Join the Lil Buckaroo Club (free t-shirt), sign up for Crop Hail Insurance, or get Free Lamination. What more could you want ... bad rap videos?

Hey Mr. Webel!

How's everything going? I'm not sure if you remember me or not, but I have to ask a favor of you.

In eighth (or seventh) grade, you showed us a picture of a little boy from a different country that you chose to sponsor. Well, as you probably know, today is National AIDS Day. I watched a special on TV about African children who became orphans because their family would not keep them due to them having the HIV, or because their family members died from AIDS. After watching that TV show and seeing the faces of innocent children who have no way of getting the help the need so that they may live life to the fullest, I feel that I have to do something. I know that I can't save the whole continent, but maybe I can help one kid (whether they have AIDS or not) to live better. So I was wondering if you could give me the information that you used to sponsor your kid. I researched different organizations on the Internet, but I could not find the info that I need. So if you wouldn't mind, would you please send me a phone number or website of the organization that you used? :)

Thank you so much!
[name removed]

Dear [name removed],

I read this quote by Bono (the lead singer of U2) today:

"Christ's example is being demeaned by the Church if they ignore the new leprosy, which is AIDS. The Church is the sleeping giant here. If it wakes up to what's really going on in the rest of the world, it has a real role to play. If it doesn't, it will be irrelevant."

Isn't he dead-on? This real epidemic is not only killing millions, it's showing how ignorant (and ultimately heartless) the modern-day Church has become. But you've stepped out and chosen to do something, to notice the need and love people.

Let me just say that I'm so proud of you ... that kind of decision just melts my heart. I honestly could care less whether or not my students know how to type or understand how a computer works. But to see you changing lives through sacrificial and honorable choices, in response to Christ's love in you ... that's my heart's desire as a teacher. Thanks for being a vessel for God's love to pour through (2 Cor. 4:7).

I sponsor Claude through Compassion International (http://www.compassion.com, 800-336-3676). Although they're not specifically focused on helping children whose families are affected by AIDS, I respect their work and trust their commitment to helping children around the world. On the website you can search for children from specific countries, with specific needs ... or you could probably call them and tell them what God's placed on your heart so they could help match you up.

If you want more info on AIDS-specific organizations, you can contact my friend Annie (I copied her on this email) ... the issue is close to her heart, and she's done quite a bit of research (and even taken classes) on it.

Thanks for being you, [name removed] ... it really made my week to get your email. God bless!

graced,
lance (mr. webel)