"Sincerity is the key. If you can fake that, you've got it made."

--George Burns

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Hmm ...

Today is Black Friday. Bonus points if you can tell us why.

In honor of this event, I'm working at Apple today, the wackiest shopping day of the year. I was looking forward to it ... it's generally a crazy-busy time when consumerism runs its course through the hearts and pocketbooks of all Americans. From the retail side, all hands are on deck and there is always a line of people ready to be helped. Fun.

But I arrived to find out that I'm stuck giving presentations all day. Sure, I've sold a system or two in between, but I'm mostly just sitting in the theatre, talking over the microphone, telling people how to do things. Little people contact, little responsiveness to their needs, and very very very monotonous. Worst of all, I'm on Thanksgiving break ... and if you know a teacher you'll know that we've all shut down for the weekend. I just don't have teaching skills right now, I cannot communicate to a group. Blah blah blah.

It's not that bad, I just felt like complaining. Oh well ... at least there's free food in the break room. YEAH, FREE FOOD.

[by the way, if you were planning to get anything from Apple this season, much of it is on sale today, and only today. buy it from http://store.apple.com/kenwood ... prices are the same and we get credit for those purchases!]

I'm not going to force the "type what I'm thankful for" thing today. But I am. Just trust me. :)

I will tell you, however, that Dog is playing with his blue dice toy ... the first time I've ever seen him do that (in two years). The Pacers just won their 2nd of 3 games since the melee in Detroit ... bravo, because they're playing as a team even without their three "best players". And I had the best mashed potatoes and sweet potatoes I've ever had in my life at the Bennett household. In fact, I normally can't stand sweet potatoes, but I'm very glad I gave these a chance.

I think I'm going to hibernate this winter. The past four years have simply worn me out. Good night.

One day later, an entire year older. I turned 26 today (64, if one of my students is asking) and decided to commemorate this fine event by sleeping in until noon. I guess I'm getting slothful in my old age.

I also had the unique pleasure of opening a birthday present from my mother wrapped in this poster. Sure, it was inside out and used just to cover up the box ... but mom, where did you get that thing? :)

Thanks for the cards and notes, peoples. And thanks to the great state of Ohio for their presents too. :)

Runner's World has linked to webeldotnet with the following quote:

At first glance, and ok, second glance this site seems to have nothing to do with running. And for the most part it doesn't. But if you can get past the weird pictures, and get over how you feel about blogging ... maybe this page will appease a few users.

I love that even though I made this dude squirm, he still posted the link. I'm honored (and over-entertained).

• Want to know how to protect yourself from theives? Well, just heed this burglar's advice (or maybe this 78-year-old's).
• How refreshing! A criminal science major and pre-law student return a purse containing $43,000 in cash!
• Forget fake Rolexes ... the hottest item on the black market is fake legos.
• Dude. Return your books.
• Got a lot of spam? Just hire an entire department.
• Wouldn't it rock to get a letter 54 years later?

I just opened the gift that my cross country team gave me at our pizza party tonight ... and I'm still flabbergasted. Over $200 in gift certificates for 13 different restaurants and stores. Honestly, I think they're trying to fatten me up so they don't have to run as much next year. Smart kids, they are.

Regardless, it's kinda nice to wrap something like this up without saying goodbye. I get to see these wonderful young men and women almost every day, encouraging them in the hallways and picking on them in my classes. The lessons we learned together on the course translate so well into everyday life ... and I'll even get the chance to continue coaching many of them in track! Bring it.

Oh, and I get to wear jeans and a t-shirt tomorrow. Woo-hoo!

• Today I used the words "ween" and "contiguous" in the same 5th grade class.
• Yesterday one of my students taught me how to do a sowcow.
• A student just told me that her cousin's friend (in New Jersey) randomly found my website the other day.
• I've been playing the Carmen Sandiego theme song as an alarm in my classroom all week ... yesterday one of my students had it stuck in her head so she bought it on iTunes.

So I'm browsing through various houses listed for sale in Cincinnati, and I come across this description:

Unique house. Spiral staircase that leads to hot-tub in basement.

That's it. Sure, it's 30 minutes away and all, but a spiral staircase that leads to a hot tub in the basement?

Here's the latest crazy idea I've got. I want to buy a Draganfly IV (remote-controlled helicopter) and an Eyecam. Once I train myself to fly the thing, I'll be able to take custom arial footage of whatever I want.

Then I start a small business called helicapture for arial photography and video, live event arial video, and custom DVD production. I'll start out marketing to real estate agents who would love to use a DVD with arial footage of the their properties as a sales tool.

It's a lot of money to pony up at first, but I should be able to cover my costs if I market the business wisely. And sure, there's a good chance that I'll stink at flying RC copters, but it'll be a blast to play around with anyways!

"[When taking a shower] any sweet-smelling soap will do, though preferably not one that's so slippery you have to keep chasing after it. Some Lonely Guys have reported results from a dab of dishwasher detergent. The most important thing about soap is not to save up a whole bunch of skinny leftover pieces of it. Many an affluent Lonely Guy, who would think nothing of buying a Ferrari, will turn right around and start saving little pieces of soap. or worse, try to mash them together to make a new bar out of them. When it gets around three-quarters of the way down, throw the soap away and accept your loss graciously. Each time you start a new bar, you will experience a clean Born Again feeling."

-- Bruce Jay Friedman, The Lonely Guy's Book of Life, 1976

"I voted for Bush because I think it's his responsibility to clean up the mess he's made. And I believe that he will try."

-- A man being interviewed on NPR

i'm glad my mother taught me to eat with my mouth closed. listening to people eat is so disgusting that it forces me to leave the room. it makes me have to pee and turn on loud music. JUST CLOSE YOUR MOUTH.

i wonder what etiquette taboos i have that drive others crazy.

The catfight is officially over ... and W. has emerged on top. Not only did he soundly win the electoral vote, but he was able to summon a 3 million person lead in the popular vote. More importantly, the Republicans also greatly increased their majority in Congress, bringing on an era of conservative leadership that probably won't end anytime soon. In my opinion, there are four reasons for the Democratic downturn:

1. The Whiney Left
In the past year, liberals around the country have become more and more vocal, shouting and screaming overdramatic calls-for-arms and sometimes quite offensive rhetoric at the American public, claiming that we need to overthrow our entrusted leaders and dramatically shift the direction of our country. They went way too far, upsetting the stomachs of mainstream Americans ... and the Democratic leadership did nothing to stop it. Instead, they tried to embrace the ultra-liberals who followed Dean and created crazy websites. They tried to disperse the authority to create policy, and it bit them in the butt. The common citizens of America are amused and entertained by their antics, but deep underneath they're also annoyed and offended. Lighten up and don't listen to the loud ones ... two basic tenets for life.

1. Pragmatics vs. Morality
When Democratic leadership talked about right and wrong, they were talking about pragmatic choices. "Bush's policy in Iraq is wrong." "Kerry has the right answers for the economy." Republicans, however talked about right and wrong as a moral choice ... "It is morally wrong to abort our children." "We will stand for freedom and what is right." The difference is huge, because it hits on the biggest deficit in the Democratic party ... there are way too many close connections to lawyers and universities and Hollywood and way too many disconnections from real people and real emotions. If they're ever going to regain their footing, the Democrats need to reconnect with the compassionate reasoning behind their social issues ... imitating the deeply personal eras of civil rights, woman's struggles, and human rights. They had it down back then and need to reconnect modern social movements (poverty, health care, and edumacation) with true right and wrong.

3. Media in Sheep's Clothing
Liberal media outlets, such as MTV, CNN, and NPR, have made the mistake of trying to appear mainstream. Their message and approach is clearly left, but they keep claiming, over and over, to be "in the middle" and "for the people" and "unbiased." Right-wing media, on the other hand (Fox News, talk radio, etc), don't make any bones about being conservative. They're up-front with their views and aren't afraid to compare themselves to the rest of the media (no matter how much flack they take for it). They seem to know that the American public would see through any attempts to be mainstream so they don't beat around the bush (pun intended). The liberal media needs to get over its fragile attempts to persuade Americans with rhetoric and flashy multimedia and start to communicate reality ... they're University intellectuals and Hollywood execs with a keen interest in personal freedoms, relativistic philosophies, and materialistic consumerism. Americans would be relieved to support these viewpoints openly.

4. W.
In trying to demean and intimidate George W. Bush, many liberals stripped him of his official titles and simply began to call him "Dub-ya". The intention was to humiliate him and cause a reaction, but Bush's supporters turned it on its head ... they created a brand. Now, instead of being insulting, the name W is a handle, simply reflecting the down-to-earth nature of our president (and quite handy for graphic designers, I might add). Whoops.

One disclaimer ... this post may seem like I'm a raging conservative. Not quite. But I've been observing this stuff for a few months now, engaged in the culture and gauging the public's reactions. I think the left will take note of the first two issues this year but won't quite get the next two ... and in 2008 I predict that the third issue will be taken to the extreme of the 1st issue, corporately. The Democratic Party has a long way to go, but yesterday's election will probably be a great wake-up call for them.

After three straight days of continual grading (400 students, 200 big projects, 27 classes, and 7 preps), I'm finally done. I can say with confidence that grading just bites.

I just heard Charles Barkley being interviewed on PTI (a sports talk show). He said that if John Kerry doesn't win the election tonight he's going to run for governor of Alabama.

That would be hilarious. Dude has a mouth, is black and rich, claims to be quasi-Republican, is no stranger to controversy (dating Madonna, throwing a man out of a window), has a talk show, and ... did I mention that he has a mouth? The quotes would flow like butta ... especially in a debate. And he'd wipe the ballotbox with any opponent.

Yep yep.