This photo of Maddie & a chick was taken by the illustrious Sarah (one of my 7th graders). Amazing, isn't it?

The good thing about using web-based email (a.k.a. Yahoo) is that your information is available to you no matter where you are. If you don't have an Internet connection at home, however, you never answer emails.

Hey ... it's my first Most Valuable Beard! Special thanks to Joanna (the wookie), David (the photographer), Kelli (the provider of the Hanson shirt), Jon (the owner of the cake), and Mollie (the inspiration for the cherry Sprite).

I've just drawn up a possible design for our track shirts this year. It's a little Hawaiian with a touch of armpit growth and a reference to our motto, Run for the One. I'm not quite sure what I think about it ... what do you think (62k PDF)?

So I was thinking the other day ... isn't al Qaeda just a really twisted youth group?

You can't deny that they are connecting with 15 to 25-year-old youths, especially young men, in their culture. And they're not only interacting ... these young men are making eternally significant choices with their lives based upon their committment to the organization and what it stands for. Hmm ... as twisted as it sounds, do we have something to learn from al Qaeda?

I would like to publicly announce that I will not be teaching in Saudi Arabia next year.

Last time I filled up my gas tank, I decided to change my driving habits a little. I stopped accelerating and decelerating dramatically, especially going uphill. I also tried to be a little smoother and more conservative while driving. The results? Louie (my car) went about 60 miles further on this tank of gas, resulting in a 4 mile-per-gallon increase. Woah!

Needless to say, my driving habits have officially changed. I expect to save quite a bit on gas over the next year, and probably some on wear-and-tear (brake pads, suspension, etc) as well. I didn't think that I drove that aggressively ... and I'll still accelerate as needed (and occasionally for fun), but I suppose my dad was right 9 years ago when he first told me how to treat a car. You go, dad.

Argh. Pat Robertson, will you please just go away?

I'm sitting in the middle school gym ... for roughly the next seven hours. This, you see, is Parent/Teacher Conferences, CHCA style. All of the teachers in the school get a table around the outside of the gym and parents can come meet with as many of us as they want. Sometimes it's a feeding frenzy, sometimes it's rather calm. This year I'm in the corner with the art teacher, and it seems to be pretty quiet. I'm avoiding eye contact.

My first week of grad school has been fairly easy ... it looks like my financial aid is finally settled, I've mostly figured out what my professor is looking for, and I'm starting, ever so slowly, to get used to the fact that I'm just going to have to gut these papers out. Two papers are due this week ... I've already turned in one, but the second one is giving me fits!

If you hadn't noticed, I also just entered a beard growing contest, Whiskerino 2005. Every day for the next 4 months I have to avoid shaving ("sculpting" is ok) and post a photo of my progress on the website. Contestents are judged on a variety of categories and themed weeks should start soon. I'm about a week behind the others, but I'm trying to clench my jaw a lot to get the facial hair to grow fast. Bring that on.

The hunt for overseas schools has just begun ... I've checked out a school in Ecuador, one in Germany, and one in Morocco ... and found a website that has about 1,000 job postings at overseas Christian schools. I'd like to also check out the Defense Department and am open to pretty much anything at this point ... so if you have a lead, let me know!

Other than that, I'm trying to lay low ... cleaning out from the fall, watching some movies, figuring out the meaning of life, playing some dodgeball with the 6th graders, scavenging for food. I'm finding a balance in the everyday ... a good thing. Thanks for asking. :)

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From: Lance's Pores [mailto:pores@webel.net]
Sent: Tuesday, November 08, 2005 11:09 AM
To: curator@whiskerino2005.com
Subject: Vehement Interest
---

To whom it may concern,

We are writing on behalf of Lance Webel, a middle school teacher in Cincinnati Ohio. For the past 26 years, we have had the fortune (or misfortune) of being attached to his face (we're his pores). Through various injuries, extreme ridicule, persistant acne, and the daily decaptiation of his facial hair, this relationship has been quite a ride.

Three days ago, however, Lance heard about this fine whisker-growing competition from three participants at his church and immediately had a life-altering experience ... he started growing a beard. We notice a distinct inversely proportional relationship between the abrasiveness of his face and the abrasiveness of his attitude. His students have even started calling him Mister Whisker!

That being said, Lance is vehemently interested in participating in Whiskerino 2005. He has documented his facial hair growth for the past three days and is willing to either submit those photos or start completely over. He has also expressed interest in donating the cost of shaving supplies throughout the duration of the competition to charity and is not above groveling or shaving his head.

Although Lance could theoretically grow a beard on his own, we feel that inclusion in a vibrant and active community is vital to his success. We have already noticed quite a high level of accountability displayed on your website and feel that such feedback and friendly "peer pressure" would motivate and encourage him.

On a personal note, we are in complete agreement with Lance's desire. We could use a vacation ... 8 years of the "daily grind" of shaving have left us quite worn down. Lance is a pretty good guy, but he just needs a break. We realize that your inbox is probably full with similar requests, but please consider this unique situation. If it doesn't work out, we are interested in being informed of subsequent competitions and activities.

Sincerely,
Lance's pores
pores@webel.net
---

My roommate/landlord wants to do some home improvement on his condo before selling it this summer. It's a great idea ... he should be able to increase the value of his home with some fairly simple renovations. But the problem is that he's asked to increase my rent to "offset some of the costs". I don't understand his logic... why should I pay for his home improvement? Not only is there no benefit for me, but I will be living in a "construction zone" for several months while he does the work. If anything, my rent should be reduced through the end of the year to subsidize my inconvenience.

Similarly, I think it's insane that our taxpayer dollars are helping people rebuild on the coastline and especially in New Orleans. Am I the only one who thinks that it's stupid to live on the coast of an ocean or under sea level on the gulf (or on an iceburg, volcano, or near any R.O.U.S.'s)? But hey ... if you want to take that risk (for your career, the nicer climate, the culture, whatever), you should be willing to pay for your own risk instead of asking someone else to do it for you.

Are crass guys as unattractive to girls as girls with dirty mouths are to us?

I am always very impressed when a stranger remembers my name at the end of a phone conversation. I try to do the same.

I'm sitting here in the mall typing my first college paper in 5 years. Boy, this is hard ... just focusing enough to write 3 pages is a monumental task. I know that my ability to B.S. (that's what my undergrad degree is in) will eventually return, but at this point it's virtually impossible to concentrate. Can I get through 20 months of this? Of course ... bring it. Bring it on.

On a different note, I'm cracking up at the looks that I'm getting. I just got off my shift at Apple and I'm using their wireless Internet connection ... on my school-issued Gateway. My fellow employees don't know what to think ... like they're either afraid of the PC, disappointed in me, or disbelieving that this machine can type a Word document. Crazy zealots. :)

I recommend that you read this link and possibly even the study it was based on (PDF). I'm going to reserve comment on it for now.